Sucky and Super...just a tad late

Eventually, I'll get a Sucky and Super actually posted on a Sunday. I blame the holidays.

Sucky:

• My bad leg has been absolutely atrocious, to the point of me legit sobbing every time something hits it. The only thing that helps with the itchiness and sensitivity of the veins is an herbal supplement Hawthorn berries. With my financial situation, I can't afford them. So I don't buy them. Christmas day a bag had hit it and I was crying so hard my mom offered to buy me a bottle to help with the pain.
• Friday night my favorite bar closed. It's been kind of a stomping ground for my friends and myself and I'll really miss it. There have been so many memories and great nights, and let's face it, days, spent there in the last year and a half and I'm so bummed to see it shut down.

Super:

• Friday night my dad and stepmom came over to see my house/our Packer themed Christmas decorations. Dad hasn't seen my house yet in the eight months I've lived there (whoops) so I invited them over. I really enjoyed hanging out.
• Christmas Eve/Day/Monday after celebrations were all wonderful. There was no arguing between my sisters, I got some great presents that I'm really excited about (Red Mist by Patricia Cornwell, some work out stuff I wanted, cooking stuff, gift cards and a Diners, Drive-ins and Dives book to name a few) and gorged for three days straight.
• Thursday, I got to spend one last night at previously mentioned bar. Every Thursday there's a drink special/DJ and I used to go every week for many months. I stopped going for a while, but this week was my friend's birthday. Right before his party, we all found out the bar was closing, so it was perfect timing to say goodbye and have one more night of fun. It was hard to go home early, but I just can't be exhausted at work.
• The Packer game on Sunday was just great. They were finally playing like they were actually trying (I guess the loss actually did them some good), it was really fun to watch (scoring helps that), and of course they won. That puts their record at 14-1 and clinched home field advantage. It was a good day for Packer fan.

Here's to hoping 2012 is better than '11

Today I looked through some old Facebook notes and found my list of goals for 2011.

• Getting a full-time, permanent job in my field
• Moving out of my mom's house
• Getting to a weight I'm happy with
• Getting my fiction piece published
• Get my credit card and the debt to my cousin paid off

I have accomplished one of these. And that's moving out....as a 23 year old, college graduate should be. Only took me a year after graduating to actually do so.

Which makes my 2012 goals as follows:

• Get a full-time permanent job, preferably in my field, but I'll take what I can get
• Get to a weight I'm happy with - and finally get my belly button repierced as a reward
• Get my fiction piece published
• Get more followers on this blog
• Get my debt paid off and put a dent into my student loans and car payment

Some of these goals can be accomplished with plenty of hard work...others may have to rely on a little luck, and/or other people taking a chance on me. Maybe a combination of the two. Consider my fingers crossed and my motivation listed.

I'm not gunna waste this, this opportunity's mine*

Sucky and Super, week 3

Sucky:

• A former classmate from high school passed away. I was never close with him, but it was such a terrible happening. Even worse, not very many people from our graduating class showed up for the services. If any of his family or friends are reading this, again, my deepest sympathies.
• Even though we were not very close, I made sure to attend his wake to pay my last respects. My funeral attendance is taking quite the toll on me lately. They're never easy to deal with and, unfortunately, I feel like I've been experiencing so many in the last few years. I'm up to 9 in the last 5 years.

Well, after that first note, nothing else seems worthy of noting. I had a few minor annoyances this week, but nothing serious. After putting those inconveniences after such a tragic death, none of them seem so bad anymore, so I'm skipping to some Super updates.

Super:

• My skin is clearing up (for now at least). I've had problems with acne since 6th grade, and I'm slowly starting to accept it's just going to be something I deal with for the rest of my life. I've tried every product known to man. for about two years in college, my face was actually remarkably clear, but since then, it's back to break outs. Right now I seem to be on a good streak, luckily just in time for the holidays.
• I have just about all my Christmas shopping done. I only need to buy one more present, and I'm going halvsies with my sister for our not-so-baby-anymore sister. Now just to wrap it all...
• Tuesday I had an interview! It wasn't for anything in my field, just a receptionist position, but it's close to home, full-time/permanent and the interview actually went really smoothly. I have a good feeling about it.
• Friday I had another ugly sweater party. It was with a  group of friends that I've had since middle and high school. We always have so much fun together and this was no different. We played the new Logo board game, which turned out to be a blast, but significantly harder than any of us expected. We also exchanged Secret Santa gifts. I got a gas card, which is splendid for commuting 45 minutes each way to work.

*Tonight, Tonight by Seether

Sucky and Super Sunday...a day late

Life has been a tad hectic lately, so Sucky and Super Sunday is a day late this week. At least it's only a day late.

Sucky:

• My bad leg has really been flaring up. I have 85 year old woman legs, and have varicose veins coming in. The doctors can't do anything about it, and it hurts wicked bad. The last few days have been terribly painful...and people keep accidentally bumping into it, making it significantly worse.
• I've had a headache every day for at least a week. I've had a problem with headaches since I was in about 4th grade, so I'm pretty used to them. Lately, though, it's been worse. I know they're mostly stress-induced because they're not like my typical aches. Sometimes I worry my body will become immune to Aleve.
• Nothing, really. Aside from feeling like I'm physically falling apart at the seams, it's been a pretty decent week.

Super:

• Tuesday my man friend and I decorated Christmas cookies. We're experiencing a lot of firsts together as the holidays approach, and I couldn't be happier to be spending them with him.
• Saturday was the last day I got to spend with my GNO girls. We went up to a camp about an hour away where they played games, learned how to build a fire and did some team-building exercises. It was actually quite a bit more fun than several of the weekly sessions.

• Saturday was the first of the two ugly Christmas sweater parties I have this year. It was so much fun, and everyone looked so ridiculous! My sister, cousin and I all rocked matching sweater vests, turtlenecks and knee high socks.
• Sunday I got to actually watch the Packer game. I missed the last two because of work, so I was really excited to see it this week. It was a great game to catch: an easy 46-16 win against the Raiders, putting us at a 13-0 record so far.

Sucky and Super Sunday

Inspired by reading my friend's weekly Awkward and Awesome posts, you can check out her page here, I have decided to (try to) do a weekly Sucky and Super post. Here's this week.

Sucky:

• Still no news on the job search.
• Contacts are expensive as shit. I bought my first year's supply this week and had to put $250 on my credit card. I'm hoping my dad can pay for part of it as my Christmas gift.
• My back is in so much pain it's unbearable. I have a bad back in general, but I carry my stress inbetween my shoulders, making it much worse lately.




Her name is Lucy, but we just call her our nugget.


• Found out my roomie's dog was diagnosed with a muscle disease that's going to kill her. I've never liked animals, ever. This is the first dog I've grown attached to in my life and then I got this news and it just about broke my heart. Luckily, she's not in pain yet and it'll take a few years to show signs.

Super:

• Despite not having any luck thus far in the job search, I applied to five really great jobs this week, three of which would be using my degrees. One of which would be absolutely phenomenal, and my fingers couldn't be crossed any harder.
• I got to see a good friend for the first time in two years. He's stationed in Germany with the Air Force and only comes home once a year for hunting season. Last year I wasn't able to see him, which made this year's visit even better.
• Friday was one of the best days I've had in months. Spent the afternoon bumming/Christmas shopping with my manfriend, got a ton of free kitchen stuff from my mom (she's moving out of state next month to live with her manfriend and won't need as many pots/pans/dishes, etc) and ended the night at a stand-up comedy show at which I laughed so hard I cried.

• My roomie and I put up our Christmas decorations, which turned out to be a lot of fun. Especially because our tree is entirely Packer themed.

Of all the aspects of social misery, nothing is so heartbreaking as unemployment*

Unemployment sucks.

I contemplated letting that one single sentence be my entire blog post...but decided against it. I don't have much to update, but I'll fill you in on the little I've got.

I, thankfully, had two interviews in the last week. They were both for receptionist/clerical work positions within (long) walking distance or a very short drive of my house. Nothing glamorous, but permanent positions, which is really what matters. I was really excited to get some call backs for those interviews. Almost every position I've applied for has been filled, or they're looking for someone more qualified for the position, or I don't hear back and they have no contact number available. Although nervous, I was ready for the interviews and had my fingers crossed. Both interviews were a little awkward, rather short and I have no idea what to really make of them. The first of the two started off by the interviewer sitting down and saying, "So, do you have any questions for me?" ....Um what? Don't you get paid to ask ME questions first? So I asked my questions, she asked about my previous job history, asked me salary expectations and that was basically it. Interview #2 was even more awkward. The interviewer asked how familiar I was with the company and the position, what I like to do in my free time, why they should hire me and if I had any questions for him. I was out of the office in ten minutes. Fifteen, tops, but that's pushing it.

I have been working the last two weeks, so at least I'm not completely bored out of my skull. The job that let me go called  me back for a two and a half week assignment. Since I had nothing better to do and needed any extra money I can get, I agreed to it. I was hired for a special project taking sample request calls. It's super easy and I actually really like it....here comes the "but." But I'm not really taking those calls like they said I was supposed to. Conveniently, I wasn't taken off the diaper line, so I'm still taking the stressful, aggravating diaper calls all day. I'm the only one who was called back who hasn't been taken off the diapers line. It's actually even more stressful than it was before I was let go because it's so much busier. After letting go so many people, the hold times are astronomical and the volume is just nuts. So not only am I taking calls I hate, I'm taking about 65 of them a day. Swell.

That's all for now. Maybe some day I'll have something more interesting happen in my life to update you on. Until then, job searching will consume my soul.

*from Jane Addams

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.*

So...it was been some time in between posts. Sorry for the delay, but frankly, writing about my life was pretty much the last thing on my to-do list. Reason being, I lost my job. And it's the shittiest feeling in the world. Being unemployed was/is pretty hard to admit to, much less write about. The only thing I could think to say was "I suck. Job searching sucks. The end." However, lucky for you, I have gotten past being mopey so stay tuned for the last two and a half weeks to be thrown at you.

Losing my job sucked. It still sucks. Knowing it was a temporary position, I was trying everything I could so that I didn't end up like this. I had been applying for jobs in my field for two months, and got nowhere. I updated my LinkedIn profile, followed up with jobs, and scoured every job site I could think of. I had no idea how long this temp position was going to last, but I had hoped I would get more notice than I did. I got an e-mail on a Thursday that in 45 minutes I had a meeting with the director of the department and one of my managers. I knew it was either really good news or really awful news to have a meeting scheduled with them. I hoped they were going to say I was hired on, and tried to focus on that, knowing deep down that's not what the meeting was for. My anxiety was running so high I could barely focus on my calls...or anything for that matter. I somehow managed to make it through the next 45 minutes until the meeting started. I was told that my position (as well as about 20 others) was up and that I had until Monday (the end of the month). My fears had been confirmed. A whirlwind of emotions hit me and I didn't know what to feel, aside from wanting to vomit. The Waterworks started almost immediately, but I forced myself to hold it together until I had left the conference room. Now what the hell was I supposed to do? I have a car payment, three student loan payments, not to mention rent and the cost of staying alive. You know, that pesky cost of food.

As soon as I got home that night, I called the unemployment office. I wasn't sure what my options were as a temp working for a staffing agency. Was I even eligible? Would I have to get another assignment through the agency? If that was the case, I might as well throw in the towel. If I ever had to rely on that useless office, I would go hungry and my car would get repo'd. I have more confidence in my 14 year old sister finding me a job than that company. Luckily for me, I know how to get things done on my own. Also luckily for me, I was eligible for unemployment. Unfortunately, unemployment is only about 60% of your paycheck and I was already cutting it pretty close. But I had to think on the bright side. At least I was getting something. Without that 60%, I'd be fucked. I'm surviving, barely, but I'm surviving. The biggest problem is my bruised ego. Having to file for unemployment was one of the most embarrassing situations I've ever had to experience. Not having a job is such a helpless, exhausting feeling. I didn't want to run into anyone I knew. I didn't want to talk to friends. I didn't want to see the look on their faces when I said I didn't have a job. I didn't want judgemental stares from people thinking I'm a low-life doing nothing for myself. Trust me, I already feel that enough without anyone else adding to it.

So where does that leave me now? Bored. Not working was great for a few days. It gave me a chance to get a bunch of errands and laundry done. The first few days I was a job searching machine. I applied for a few more jobs in my field, or close to it. I applied for a bunch of receptionist and administrative assistant positions.  After those first few days, though, job postings became slim pickins. Not much is really being posted. Every day at most and every other day at least, I spend time on Careerbuilder, SimplyHired, Indeed, jobcenterofwisconsin, jobsingreenbay, craigslist and Facebook Marketplace. I search proofreading, editing, public relations, social media, publishing, nonprofit, marketing communications, receptionist and administrative assistant and at most find two jobs a day to apply for. As for the jobs in my field, or "real jobs" as I call them, I continue to get the same old song and dance that I don't have enough experience. I did hear back from a receptionist job that actually sounds rather promising. I'm supposed to get a call to set up an interview today, and if I don't hear from the hiring manager today, I'm supposed to call the corporate HR office. That's actually really helpful. I have an e-mail and a direct extension for the corporate HR lady who originally called me, and she only gave a two day window. That feels promising at least. Keep your fingers crossed for me, because right now, it's the only option I've got.

*quote from "Fats" Domino

On a personal note...

Hello dear readers! It's been a while since I've had a "personal" entry not based around work, job searching or GNO (though the week 5 update is next), so I figured I'd give you some interesting tidbits, especially since my past weekend was jam-packed with parties.

Friday was a friend's 21st birthday. Said friend and I aren't very close friends, but I know him through my sister and man-friend. We went out, and as is typical on a 21st birthday, Friend was already smashed by the time I got out to the bars. He doesn't remember anything past getting Subway at 10:30, which always makes for a good time for everyone else out. Around midnight, I just got exhausted and wanted to go home. Somehow, I ended up bringing home a friend of a friend, whom I'd only met once prior. She hadn't asked for a ride, just somehow showed up at my car. Nothing aggravates me more than having to give people rides unexpectedly. If I know about it in advance, and if the ride is asked for, it's usually not a big deal. However, when it's just assumed I'll drive someone home it really grates on my nerves. I hate feeling like everyone's personal (free) taxi. Buuut I feel guilty if they don't have any other way home, and almost obligated to do it, knowing they need a safe ride. Begrudgingly, I brought her home.

Saturday was jam-packed. I hardly had a moment to myself, but it was a great day. In the early afternoon, I had a friend's baby shower. I was a little nervous at first. The only time I had ever been to the church it was held at was for a friend's funeral a few months ago. Pulling into the driveway was a little painful at first, but it was a lot of fun, great food, and a chance to catch up with some ladies who I don't talk to very often. We played Baby BINGO, a version I hadn't heard of. You start with a blank BINGO board and write in your own answers, all gifts you think the mom will get. As she's opening her presents, you mark off the items on your board. It was a great way to get the guests involved, and give everyone something to do while presents are opened, which is great for fidgeters like me.

Right after the shower I headed to my dad's for a family birthday party. My sister (14), stepbrother (12) and cousin (12) all have birthdays within a few days of each other, so the family celebrates them all at once. I'm really close with my family and always enjoy get-togethers. Apparently, my dad's coworker makes cakes on the side and baked each kid a personal cake. It was pretty cool. My sister is saving up for a laptop (seriously, how many 14 year olds do that?!) and just wanted money to go towards her computer. I didn't get her a present for either of her parties (one for mom's family, one for dad's) but told her I'd take her to Best Buy to go shopping. She has a $20 limit to pick out stuff for her computer. She's excited for free stuff and I'm excited to spend time with her. Win-win.

Saturday night I went to a costume party at one of my typical hang-out bars. I was expecting a lot of people to be there, as about 40 RSVPd yes on Facebook, and people had been talking about it for a while. I got there any only a few people actually came, and even fewer showed up in costume. It was a little uncomfortable being super dressed up in a short little pirate costume (pics to come soon!), feeling super sexy, and no one else dressed up. The two bartenders had sexy costumes and one girl who used to work there as well. Some of the guys were dressed up funny costumes, but I was definitely outnumbered. Whatever, I got the $15 all you can drink special for showing up in costume. I was kind of bummed that it had bombed so bad; I was really looking forward to seeing a bunch of people. But there was a band playing (and they're actually pretty good for a high school band. Check them out here) and I hung out with my cousin and man-friend and we had a really good time, considering.

Sunday I had a Packer party at my dad's house for the Packers vs. Vikings game. My dad lives only a few minutes away from the Stadium and has his garage entirely decked out in Packer decorations. He even painted the walls green and yellow and hung a stuffed lion, cabbage patch doll/viking and a bear from "nooses" aka his deer hooks. It's the perfect place to watch games. I've been planning this party for a long time and was really excited for it. I invited people on Facebook, and then texted all the maybes and not yet replied a few days before to see who was all coming. Unfortunately, a lot of people had prior plans. I was bummed, but I totally understand. If you made plans before,  you made plans before. Not a big deal. However, there were several people who said they were coming and didn't. It wasn't until I texted them right before the game that I found out they wouldn't be there. I was really hurt and disappointed after I made food and had been so excited for people to come over and watch the game. Logically I know I shouldn't have, but I took it a little personally. Luckily though, two friends and my cousin showed up. We ended up eating most of the food and the it was a pretty eventful game, so we all enjoyed ourselves. The Packers beat the Vikings 33-27, putting them at 7-0 for the season. Amazing.

Moral of the story: Even though I got a little grouchy a few times, I had a very successful weekend.

GNO week 4

Yesterday's session elicited some mixed feelings. It started off a little rough. And by a little, I mean it wasn't even organized chaos. Luckily, though, it ended significantly better than it started.

I went into the session already grouchy, with little desire to be there. In fact, I debated not going at all. Last week's session really left a sour taste in my mouth. I had been frustrated for two weeks prior, and last week topped it off. Fortunately, I won't let myself give up so easily. Begrudgingly, I went.

I got there about 10 minutes early, as per usual for the volunteers, to find a handful of girls there already and getting their snacks out. The other volunteers weren't there (I later found out they got stuck in traffic) and the advisor wasn't there (we find out about 5 minutes after the program started that she was sick) and the volunteer coordinator (the advisor's boss, essentially) had no idea what was going on. An entire pitcher of lemonade got knocked over and one of the girls slipped in the puddle. Without the advisor, we had no activity planned and had to completely wing it. Luckily, though, the program has a binder with the theme for each week and two options for activities.


This picture really stumped them.



The theme this week was about beauty, inside and out, and what it means to be beautiful. One thing we focused on was a "celebrities without makeup" game. We had pictures of female celebrities without makeup and the girls had to guess who they were. We had "after" pictures of the celebrities all glammed up to show them after the guesses. Many of the girls were really surprised and didn't even recognize all the stars. Beyonce and Lady Gaga really stumped them. We also had the girls get together in small groups to focus on themselves. Each girl got two sheets of paper and had to finish the sentence "I'm beautiful because..." on each square. I suggested having one sentence for inner beauty, or their personality as I had to explain it to them (I'm sure your kidneys are beautiful, but I mean your personality), and one for their outer beauty. They seemed to enjoy this activity and it elicited a lot of productive conversation amongst them. It was really interesting to see them give themselves compliments, and what they thought was positive about themselves.

The executive decision was made by the volunteer coordinator to have us keep the same small groups for the duration of the program. I couldn't have gotten better news. The five girls in my group actually listen, want to participate, are fun to talk to, and don't get super obnoxious. If I got stuck with the sassies, I'm not sure how much longer I could have done it.

Our physical activity of the night was a kind of gym game. Each small group got a sheet of paper with different exercises on it that the group had to complete together: 4 laps around the track, hula hoop for 1 minute, jump rope for one minute, 25 jumping jacks, 10 push-ups, 25 sit ups and to come up with a group name and cheer. My girls came up with the Pretty Purple Pandas. The gym games were actually really fun and the group as a whole actually participated. A rough start ended up being one of the most successful sessions so far.

The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it*

Hello, dear readers. Since so much of this blog's creation was centered around the general job searching process, I decided to give an update with how that's going...or not really going. This has been a long, tedious process. I've spent the majority of the last year and a half job searching, so I pretty much know what to expect. Unfortunately, that doesn't really make it any less frustrating.

The biggest and most nerve-wracking catch-22 on the face of this planet is that no one wants to hire someone without any job experience, but no one will freaking hire you to give you that experience. How the hell am I supposed to get any experience if no one will take a chance to hire me? It's a vicious circle that hopefully someday I may break. Now, I understand a loophole is internships. Employers, professors, everyone rams the notion of getting an internship down your throat. This is the perfect way to get experience in your field without actually getting hired on, i.e. the company forking out tons of money to pay your salary. Well, I had an internship (and a pretty good one, might I add, through my university's PR department) and it's still not getting me very far. I also took a practicum course in which my classmates and I put together a nationally recognized literary magazine.

The job market right now is awful, but not inexistent. There's hardly anything being posted, especially in fields as specific as mine. I acknowledge it's a narrow window, but I did not anticipate it being this narrow. I've found maybe one job every or every other week worth me applying to. The moral of this story: not only do I have slim pickins, the jobs I do apply to won't hire a recent graduate without experience to back her up. Fantastic.

Anyway, the job I really wanted has yet to return any of my four or five phone calls. Sadly, I've given up on them, even though it crushes me a little. Another job, also close to home, gave me the dreaded "due to your lack of experience, we won't be moving forward with an interview." A third specificly asked for applicants not to call following up, due to the large volume of applications. If I can't even follow those directions, why would they even want to hire me? So I listened, but didn't hear back. The first job I applied to since starting at the call center didn't even have their name listed on the ad, so follow-up is impossible.

Over the weekend I applied for a job that I'm actually really excited about. It's the first one that would be in my women's studies field. It would be teaching youth about sexual and reproductive health. Keep your fingers crossed :)

*Quote from Mother Theresa

GNO week 3

I can't believe I've already had three Mondays with my new group of girls at the Y! I really enjoy this program and it's the one thing I really look forward to every week. The two hours a week I spend with these girls is more rewarding than the 40 hours a week I spend at work (I finally quit my part time job at Target. Hooray for being down to one job again!) or anything else in my life, really. Unfortunately, though, there are a few girls this session that are really trying my patience. More on that in a little bit.

This week we focused on positive influences, inspirational material and why it's awesome to be a girl. The first half of the night the girls created collages. In groups of four, they each cut out about four images or words out of magazine and then pasted them together on construction paper. After the groups finished their projects, one girl from each group explained the importance of their work. Two things really stuck out to me. "I picked out a car, because I'm going places" and "We put a cancer ribbon on {our collage} because a lot of women get breast cancer. And sometimes they lose their hair and don't feel beautiful anymore. But they're always beautiful." Sometimes, I'm absolutely blown away by what comes out of the mouths of children.

Our physical activity this week was Zumba. Many of the girls, myself included, absolutely fell in love with this exercise. I had never done this before, but have been excited to try it for some time. We danced to about 6 or 7 songs, my favorite of them being Stereo Hearts by the Gym Class Heroes. This workout kicked my butt, and the best part? Not once did it feel like a workout! One of the girls came up to me as they were leaving and told me she loved Zumba and wanted to do it every day. It was great to see the girls enjoy themselves so much.

...Unfortunately, this is where the program is getting trying. There have been about six girls out of the group who really test my patience every week. They don't listen to any of the volunteers or the advisor and blatantly do the exact opposite of what they're asked. They don't participate in any of the group activities, and you'd think we were asking them to go through a root canal the way they refuse to join in the physical activities. They don't even try it, but miraculously, know they don't like it. Isn't that convenient? I tried really hard to get the girls to join in, but I would have better luck nailing jello to a tree.
Me: Girls, you'd be able to see the instructor better if you got in line.
Girl 1: I don't want to see her!
Me: Well, you guys should participate, it's a lot of fun!
After the next song, Me: Girls you really need to participate with everyone else.
Girl 2: Can I go get a drink?
Me: Didn't you just do that?
Girl 2: No, I went to the bathroom before.
Me: Fine, but if you're not back in five minutes I'm coming after you.
After the next song: Girls, if you're not going to participate, you need to be quiet so everyone else can.
Girls: Ok. Continue to talk in a circle.
Repeat previous two lines two more times.
This went on until after the physical activity, where they refused to sit by the advisor to listen for the next week's activities, continued to color after they were told they needed to line up to leave, and continued to look me in the eye, say ok, and then go back to what was clearly more important.

Now, I understand middle schoolers get riled up and I understand having to deal with attitude problems. I'm more than prepared to handle that. What I am struggling with is being a volunteer with little authority or apparently imporantance in their lives. They are not made to be there (well, they probably are by their parents). They don't listen to one person in the room, they talk over everyone and don't participate in one activity. This is incredibly frustrating and takes nearly all of my energy for the night. The small chatter turns into screaming as they try to talk over instructions and other girls, and then other girls become distracted, and before I know it, I have an entire room of screaming, uncooperative sixth graders.

This is exactly how I know I will never become a teacher.

How to Talk on the Phone

If there's one thing that working in a call center has taught me, it's that our society has a whole has zero idea what it means to have proper phone ettiquette. Every day, I am appalled at what people think is acceptable behavior over the phone. So, I decided to share with you dear readers what are/are not appropriate ways to handle yourself when you make a call to any kind of business or company, which, by the way, are common communication techniques that should be expected in childhood.

LISTEN:

• Wait for the other person to finish talking before you speak. Interruptions are generally considered rude, counter-productive, and frankly, annoying.
• Pay attention to what the representative is saying. This way you can answer their questions accurately and without them having to feel like they're a cd with a scratch through it. Repeating the same thing multiple times gets old fast.
• Take the answers you're given. Repeating yourself is just as annoying to the representative as them having to repeat themselves. Reiterating your problem seventeen times is not going to get you a better or different answer. Chances are, they understood you the first time. If they didn't, they'll ask you to clarify. Also, don't argue with or question their answers. Doing so will make them change their mind and give you an answer worse than what you're already upset about.

STAY CALM AND RESPECTFUL

• No matter how serious you feel your concern is, and no matter how upset you are, don't shout at, curse at, or name call the person who is taking your call. You will get a far better response if you're not screaming so loud the representative has to worry about hearing damage.
• Manners and politeness go a long way. Chances are, whoever is taking your call wants to help you. If you're nice to them, they'll be nice to you. If you are understanding or even respectful, they will help you to rectify your situation. If you're looking to be reimbursed, they'll be more generous. If you're rude, snappy, or shouting, don't be surprised if you get jipped.
• Don't blame the person answering the phone. It's very likely they had nothing to do with whatever the problem is and are likely just taking the phone calls and passing the information on to the person or department who is responsible.

SILENCE IS GOLDEN:

• When making a call, go in a quiet room - away from the blaring tv or radio, screaming kids, heavy traffic, or any other disruptive noises. It makes it harder for you to hear the representative and harder for them to hear you. This makes the call frustrating, longer than it needs to be, is considered rude and annoying and your representative may need to get his/her hearing checked after your call.
• If you must stay in a noisy room, carry on one conversation at a time, most preferably putting your priorities with the phone call YOU made. If something else is going on in the background, don't yell at someone in the room, espeically without pulling the phone away from your mouth. This is the equivalent of screaming in a representative's face.

ENUNCIATE:

• When making any kind of phone call, make sure you speak clearly so whoever takes your call can understand you, and thus, will be able to properly help you. Don't mumble, and don't talk with food in your mouth. The importance of enunciation is particularly critical when giving any kind of personal information such as your name and address. If you're getting something replaced or sent in the mail, you need to make sure you are heard well enough for your mail to get to the right place.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

• Wait for questions to be asked before you answer them. This may sound preposterous, but in all reality of answering a phone for a living, it's absolutely a legitimate issue. Trust me, the representative will appreciate your willingness to help them, but the most helpful thing you can do is wait until they tell you what they need. Don't blurt out information you think they may need before they ask for it. Chances are it may not be what they're looking for, or they're not ready for it yet. This will make the call smoother and shorter for both of you.
• Speaking of not blurting out information, don't spill your guts to the representative. He or she does not want to know your entire life story, especially for ten minutes straight. S/he has a job to do, which is try to help you, but hearing about every one of your grandchildren makes it difficult to accomplish said job. Not to mention, that representative is a stranger. Actually, they're less than a stranger. They're just a voice over the phone. Which means there is no need for you to share personal information, and that stranger has zero desire to hear about it.

Girls Night Out, weeks 1 and 2

Last week, Girls Night Out started. It's one thing I really look forward to every week, and makes Mondays a little less "Monday." Start watching for Monday posts about GNO, in addition to other weekly(ish) posts. This is one  thing that's consistent every week, so I can almost guarantee a post a week will be dedicated to my Monday evenings with my girls.

Week one: The very first session is mostly getting to know each other. The volunteers meet each other, we briefly go over what to expect in the program with the adviser, we get to know the girls, and of course, the girls chat it up with each other. We made a "quilt" for the class for one of our ice-breakers. Each of the girls, including   us volunteers (my favorite part of the program is participating in the activities with the girls), decorated a square of paper. We had to write our name, and could decorate it to show our personality. When we were all done, the squares got put together into a quilt.

Our physical activity of the night was line dancing. The girls learned the Electric Slide, the Cupid Shuffle and one or two other moves.

Week two: This week's theme was goals, hopes and dreams. For the very first part of the night, we had a guest speaker. Miss Teen Wisconsin came in to talk to the girls about winning the pageant, and what it took her to get there. After explaining what the pageant was like, and how hard she had to work to raise the money herself and work towards her goal, she opened the floor to the girls to ask questions.

Then we broke into two groups for a small group activity. I was only a leader for one activity, so maybe next week I'll have more insight into the other small groups' work. The activity I was in charge of was to write a letter to themselves. The girls had to answer what a goal for themselves was for a week from now, two weeks from now, six months and a year. Some even went an extra step to add in a life-time or more long term goal. If there's one thing I've learned from last spring's session and tonight, it's that kids in this age have a very hard time answering questions about themselves on their own. They constantly ask what the right answer is or what they should put. I make sure the girls answer all the questions on their own, and make it clear that there is no right answer. Whatever they feel is the right answer. I do, however, help them if they're really stuck by asking them open-ended questions to start prodding them in one direction or another.

The girls did some more line dancing tonight, which I don't think they were too fond of. They didn't seem too thrilled to line dance in the first place, let alone doing it two weeks in a row. We did the Electric Slide and the Cupid Shuffle again and also learned Amy's Dance, which was to the Saturday Night Fever song. Just like last week, the volunteers enjoyed the Cupid Shuffle more than the sixth graders.

Part Two: Solutions

As yesterday's post clearly shows, I've been rather unhappy lately. Sometimes I wonder why I let my financial and professional situations take over the rest of my moods/emotions/satisfaction with life. I have family I actually get along with really well and, unlike many of my peers, really enjoy spending time with them. My parents and sisters are more than just family, they're my friends. My friends are a fantastic support system, are fun as hell to be around, are there when I need to vent or cry, my roommate/long time friend makes me laugh every single day, and I have an amazing boyfriend I'm head over heels in love with. I have some of the greatest people surrounding me who would do anything for the ones they love. I graduated college with honors and in four years. I've moved out of my mom's house and on my own. I bought my car (from here on out to be referred to as her name, Carly. Don't judge.) shortly after graduating and it's actually relatively new and in really great condition. Granted, my dad had to be a cosigner, but I make all the payments on my own. I'm healthy, my friends and family are healthy. Sometimes, I think I just need a reality check.

Regardless of how irrational or unjustified my frustrations are, they're there. And I'm finally trying to do something about it. I want so much out of life and it's completely up to me to get there.

Job searching: The biggest reason I'm so unhappy is my job. I want a job in my field. I want a job I love and actually look forward to going to every morning. I don't want to feel like my degree was a waste of paper. I want a job closer to home, so I'm not commuting every day (though I'd gladly still commute for a job in my field or that I loved). Instead of just complaining how much I hate my job, I'm trying to find a new one. CareerBuilder and Simply Hired (among others) have been my best friends in the last month. I try to look for jobs every day. At the very least, I search every other day. Unfortunately, not much has been posted lately. I updated my LinkedIn profile and have polishing my resume to make it perfect. I have a few applications out there, all for jobs in my field. There's one in particular I'm really excited for: a social media and PR coordinator position that's literally just a few minutes away from my house.

Writing: In addition to trying to keep up with this blog, I've been trying to do some freewriting a few times a week. I found a list of prompts and spend about 7-15 minutes writing about the topic I choose. Yesterday's prompt is actually proving to be a lot of fun. I think it's going to be the first thing I actually write without a workshop class or my instructor Dave that will go somewhere. I also want to start submitting my fiction piece Beauty is Pain. I started submitting it back in February but dropped it for a while. I've got a list of magazines I want to submit to, so I just need to actually submit. Note to self: submit to those magazines this week and don't forget again like you did three weeks ago.

Volunteering: The volunteer program that I work with starts up again Monday and I couldn't be more excited. The program is called Girls Night Out and it's through the Green Bay YMCA. Every Monday a group of sixth grade girls meets at the Y for two hours. Each day of the week is dedicated to a different middle school. Each week has a different theme that we focus on. The first hour is "learning" and the second hour is a physical activity. As a volunteer, I lead small group discussions with the girls, and can join in on the activity if I wish. The girls learn about things like communication, positive role models, healthy eating habits, and bullying. After the "classroom" portion, we go to the gym for rock climbing, yoga, dodge ball and other gym/recess games. I have so much fun with my girls. It's the one thing that really makes me feel like I'm making a difference to someone, and I feel like I'm at least using my Women's Studies minor.

Freewriting took a backseat today to continue working with yesterday's piece.

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I've decided that since this blog started entirely because of my dissatisfaction with my professional life, I should give some background. So here's some explanation of what has gotten me to this point and what I'm trying to do about it.

I hate my job. That's so harsh, but it is what it is. The company is a great company to be a part of, but I'm not part of the company. Sure, anyone can make the argument that every position is vital to the company's success, no matter how big or small. One could make the argument that I'm a part of the company because I do the exact same work my full-time co-workers do. But I don't work for the company. I work for a staffing agency and have very little job security. I have zero idea when this assignment/position will end, and frankly, neither do my bosses. That's utterly terrifying. And considering said staffing agency assured me it was a temp to hire position and it's not, I have even more reason to be anxious.

My coworkers are great and all the temps get along really well, but the only time we interact is on our half hour lunch break. And that's only if we have our lunches scheduled together, which can't be garaunteed. I talk to people for eight hours straight, but I don't really interact with anyone. Even communication with customers all day long would be fine if it was face to face. I can answer a call, apologize and thank like no other, but do I really communicate? Do I really have solid interactions with anyone? Which leads me to my next point. I'm not making any kind of difference in anyone's life. Sure, I can replace a box of faulty diapers and save some people money, but what am I doing? Half the people I "help" don't even appreciate it. They're selfish, greedy and think they're entitled to the world. So many calls I get are about the pettiest of things. Codes not working for our rewards program, expecting an entire box of diapers to be replaced for one leaky diaper, commericals being played too much, and coupons. For Christ's sake, don't forget the coupons.

My job is easy but it makes me miserable. Taking call after call for eight hours is enough to make one crazy, but taking complaints for eight hours is just unbearable. I get yelled at every day, and 9 times out of 10, it's over next to nothing. Your kid's diaper leaked? Well, did you change it? Someone called a few weeks ago because their kid peed four times in the diaper and it leaked all over. Working in this job makes me understand what it's like to raise a teenager: people don't listen. When I tell people what codes I need from the box, where to find them and what they'll look like and they give me something completely unrelated on the opposite side of the box, I could just scream. When I get interrupted, talked over and blatantly ignored, I could jump through the phone and just strangle them. When people talk for 20 minutes straight about how awful our products are, without me so much as working in a "oh no," and tell me over and over they should just switch brands, I would love nothing more than to shout out, "Fine! Switch brands. Your $30 a week is not going to break our multi-million dollar company. Do whatever you have to do to get me off this phone call."

I make pretty good money, but I did not go to school to work in a call center for diapers. I spent thousands of dollars on a great education, and don't regret one second of it. I am very passionate about writing and literature. I want to write, proofread, edit, update social media, do public relations, any of the above. Answering shitty diaper calls 101 somehow missed my list of classes to take. My degree is going to waste. I spent thousands and thousands of dollars for a pretty piece of paper and that's all I have to show for four years of my life. When I was hired, the staffing agency told me I'd be writing letters, sending e-mails and updating social media. Imagine my surprise when I started my first day and my trainer said "Welcome to our call center." Needless to say, I'm not doing any of those things. I've been there five months and have yet to get trained on e-mail and will more than likely never be working on social media. Not to mention if I do get trained on e-mail, it will just be entering codes into an automated system to create a canned response e-mail. I won't actually be writing e-mails.

Part two: "Solutions to this problem" coming later this weekend.

Freewriting prompt: Write about a man who got stood up on a date.

Packers, AFSP Walk and a Suprise Visit

In the last four days, I've had three rather significant events take place: The NFL kick-off game, the third annual American Foundation for Suicide Prevention walk in Brown County and a surprise visit from one of my very close college friends.

Thursday was the NFL opening game of the Green Bay Packers vs. the New Orleans Saints. As the Superbowl champions, Green Bay hosted a massive kick-off party with a free concert. Maroon 5, Kid Rock and Lady Antebellum all performed outside the stadium for thousands of people. Blocks of Oneida street by the stadium were blocked off for days, the population of Green Bay was said to have nearly doubled for a day, and the entire city partied all day. Unfortunately, I was stuck taking diaper calls and missed the majority of the event, but caught the tail end of it before the game started. My dad told me the night before, "Just tell all your callers 'I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but I'm in Wisconsin, the home of the Superbowl champions. So as much as I'd love to chat about your kid's ass, I have a Packer party to attend. So call me next week when I'm sober.'" I would have loved nothing more than to have actually said this, but  keeping my job sounded just as appealing. Regardless, even though I didn't catch all of the concert, the atmosphere was amazing. There were so many Packer fans, all amped to start a new football season and all decked out in green and gold. The game between the last two superbowl champions was a great way to start off the season. There was hardly a dull moment in the game, and of course, the Packers won 42-34.

Saturday was the third anual Out of the Darkness walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention here in Brown County. The day was a great success, albeit very emotional. The walk has been organized each year by a couple of women who each lost their children around the age of 18. Each year, the event grows larger and larger and more and more families are reaching out to each other. The walk represented 17 different "teams," or people who walkers were representing. As more families come out each walk, new things are introduced to every event. Saturday's event got coffee and tea donations from Starbucks, water donated from Pepsi and plenty of raffle and door prizes. Another part of the event was introducing each team. One representative from each team introduced him/herself, their relation to the deceased, what year they died and how old they were when they passed. It was a terribly emotional few moments, though I'm sure helpful and  therapeutic for the families. This year, 347 walkers raised $8,000. Half of the proceeds will be donated to our community and half will go to a national level. Next year, though, the organization is branching off from the AFSP to be able to donate all proceeds at our community level.

Also on Saturday, my friend Sam from Stritch made an impromptu visit to Green Bay. Being two hours away and everyone having very hectic work and personal life schedules, I don't get to see my college friends very often. The last time I had seen her was in April, so we were definitely due for a visit. We only spent two hours together, but we had such a great talk and it really made my already great day. We caught each other up on our lives, how our jobs were going, and the like. We gossiped and talked about writing, as if there's anything else to talk about. We were both part of the writing program at Stritch and magnetically attracted to each other the first week of school. Actually, I think we became friends right away during orientation week. Both of us expressed our frustration with the inability to get jobs in our fields and how badly we just wanted to write, but not knowing where to begin. What to write about, how to write without our instructor Dave, how to write without having our peers to bounce feedback off of in workshops. I shared with her that I had started this blog and started doing freewriting exercises very similar to what we did in our writing classes, and how badly I just want to proofread anything or everything. Proofreading in really what I have a passion for, even more so than writing or reading. I have a knack for it and the eye for detail. We agreed to send each other any pieces of writing that we're working on to have the other person look over it. Finally, I might be getting somewhere with my degree, even if it isn't a paid position.

A balloon release after the AFSP walk

Freewriting prompt: List 20 things that annoy you. Pick one and write about it.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know whatcha gunna get.

Welcome to my blog, dear readers. I suppose I shall introduce myself and my intentions with this blog. I graduated with a BA in Writing and minored in Women's Studies in May 2010. Since graduating a year ago, I've been actively looking for a job in my field and trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life. It hasn't gotten very far. I am currently working in a call center for a paper company and am trained exclusively on baby care/child care products. Which means I spend eight hours a day talking about diapers. The company is great and I love my coworkers, but it's not what I had ever pictured myself doing. It is, without a doubt, a job and not a career. It's a very good company to get in to, but the position is not for me. Very recently I started becoming rather unhappy with my life and success, or lack thereof. I had gotten myself into a rut and felt like I was doing nothing with my life or degree. After a few weeks of bitching and tears, I decided to do something about it and make myself happy instead of just complaining that I wasn't. I started actively searching for jobs in my field and wanted to start writing again. So here I am. This blog is meant to get me writing more, and will give me motivation to keep up with it. Hopefully people are reading this to give me reason to continue posting.

My co-workers and I in training.