Sucky and Super Sunday

Inspired by reading my friend's weekly Awkward and Awesome posts, you can check out her page here, I have decided to (try to) do a weekly Sucky and Super post. Here's this week.

Sucky:

• Still no news on the job search.
• Contacts are expensive as shit. I bought my first year's supply this week and had to put $250 on my credit card. I'm hoping my dad can pay for part of it as my Christmas gift.
• My back is in so much pain it's unbearable. I have a bad back in general, but I carry my stress inbetween my shoulders, making it much worse lately.




Her name is Lucy, but we just call her our nugget.


• Found out my roomie's dog was diagnosed with a muscle disease that's going to kill her. I've never liked animals, ever. This is the first dog I've grown attached to in my life and then I got this news and it just about broke my heart. Luckily, she's not in pain yet and it'll take a few years to show signs.

Super:

• Despite not having any luck thus far in the job search, I applied to five really great jobs this week, three of which would be using my degrees. One of which would be absolutely phenomenal, and my fingers couldn't be crossed any harder.
• I got to see a good friend for the first time in two years. He's stationed in Germany with the Air Force and only comes home once a year for hunting season. Last year I wasn't able to see him, which made this year's visit even better.
• Friday was one of the best days I've had in months. Spent the afternoon bumming/Christmas shopping with my manfriend, got a ton of free kitchen stuff from my mom (she's moving out of state next month to live with her manfriend and won't need as many pots/pans/dishes, etc) and ended the night at a stand-up comedy show at which I laughed so hard I cried.

• My roomie and I put up our Christmas decorations, which turned out to be a lot of fun. Especially because our tree is entirely Packer themed.

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.*

So...it was been some time in between posts. Sorry for the delay, but frankly, writing about my life was pretty much the last thing on my to-do list. Reason being, I lost my job. And it's the shittiest feeling in the world. Being unemployed was/is pretty hard to admit to, much less write about. The only thing I could think to say was "I suck. Job searching sucks. The end." However, lucky for you, I have gotten past being mopey so stay tuned for the last two and a half weeks to be thrown at you.

Losing my job sucked. It still sucks. Knowing it was a temporary position, I was trying everything I could so that I didn't end up like this. I had been applying for jobs in my field for two months, and got nowhere. I updated my LinkedIn profile, followed up with jobs, and scoured every job site I could think of. I had no idea how long this temp position was going to last, but I had hoped I would get more notice than I did. I got an e-mail on a Thursday that in 45 minutes I had a meeting with the director of the department and one of my managers. I knew it was either really good news or really awful news to have a meeting scheduled with them. I hoped they were going to say I was hired on, and tried to focus on that, knowing deep down that's not what the meeting was for. My anxiety was running so high I could barely focus on my calls...or anything for that matter. I somehow managed to make it through the next 45 minutes until the meeting started. I was told that my position (as well as about 20 others) was up and that I had until Monday (the end of the month). My fears had been confirmed. A whirlwind of emotions hit me and I didn't know what to feel, aside from wanting to vomit. The Waterworks started almost immediately, but I forced myself to hold it together until I had left the conference room. Now what the hell was I supposed to do? I have a car payment, three student loan payments, not to mention rent and the cost of staying alive. You know, that pesky cost of food.

As soon as I got home that night, I called the unemployment office. I wasn't sure what my options were as a temp working for a staffing agency. Was I even eligible? Would I have to get another assignment through the agency? If that was the case, I might as well throw in the towel. If I ever had to rely on that useless office, I would go hungry and my car would get repo'd. I have more confidence in my 14 year old sister finding me a job than that company. Luckily for me, I know how to get things done on my own. Also luckily for me, I was eligible for unemployment. Unfortunately, unemployment is only about 60% of your paycheck and I was already cutting it pretty close. But I had to think on the bright side. At least I was getting something. Without that 60%, I'd be fucked. I'm surviving, barely, but I'm surviving. The biggest problem is my bruised ego. Having to file for unemployment was one of the most embarrassing situations I've ever had to experience. Not having a job is such a helpless, exhausting feeling. I didn't want to run into anyone I knew. I didn't want to talk to friends. I didn't want to see the look on their faces when I said I didn't have a job. I didn't want judgemental stares from people thinking I'm a low-life doing nothing for myself. Trust me, I already feel that enough without anyone else adding to it.

So where does that leave me now? Bored. Not working was great for a few days. It gave me a chance to get a bunch of errands and laundry done. The first few days I was a job searching machine. I applied for a few more jobs in my field, or close to it. I applied for a bunch of receptionist and administrative assistant positions.  After those first few days, though, job postings became slim pickins. Not much is really being posted. Every day at most and every other day at least, I spend time on Careerbuilder, SimplyHired, Indeed, jobcenterofwisconsin, jobsingreenbay, craigslist and Facebook Marketplace. I search proofreading, editing, public relations, social media, publishing, nonprofit, marketing communications, receptionist and administrative assistant and at most find two jobs a day to apply for. As for the jobs in my field, or "real jobs" as I call them, I continue to get the same old song and dance that I don't have enough experience. I did hear back from a receptionist job that actually sounds rather promising. I'm supposed to get a call to set up an interview today, and if I don't hear from the hiring manager today, I'm supposed to call the corporate HR office. That's actually really helpful. I have an e-mail and a direct extension for the corporate HR lady who originally called me, and she only gave a two day window. That feels promising at least. Keep your fingers crossed for me, because right now, it's the only option I've got.

*quote from "Fats" Domino

The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it*

Hello, dear readers. Since so much of this blog's creation was centered around the general job searching process, I decided to give an update with how that's going...or not really going. This has been a long, tedious process. I've spent the majority of the last year and a half job searching, so I pretty much know what to expect. Unfortunately, that doesn't really make it any less frustrating.

The biggest and most nerve-wracking catch-22 on the face of this planet is that no one wants to hire someone without any job experience, but no one will freaking hire you to give you that experience. How the hell am I supposed to get any experience if no one will take a chance to hire me? It's a vicious circle that hopefully someday I may break. Now, I understand a loophole is internships. Employers, professors, everyone rams the notion of getting an internship down your throat. This is the perfect way to get experience in your field without actually getting hired on, i.e. the company forking out tons of money to pay your salary. Well, I had an internship (and a pretty good one, might I add, through my university's PR department) and it's still not getting me very far. I also took a practicum course in which my classmates and I put together a nationally recognized literary magazine.

The job market right now is awful, but not inexistent. There's hardly anything being posted, especially in fields as specific as mine. I acknowledge it's a narrow window, but I did not anticipate it being this narrow. I've found maybe one job every or every other week worth me applying to. The moral of this story: not only do I have slim pickins, the jobs I do apply to won't hire a recent graduate without experience to back her up. Fantastic.

Anyway, the job I really wanted has yet to return any of my four or five phone calls. Sadly, I've given up on them, even though it crushes me a little. Another job, also close to home, gave me the dreaded "due to your lack of experience, we won't be moving forward with an interview." A third specificly asked for applicants not to call following up, due to the large volume of applications. If I can't even follow those directions, why would they even want to hire me? So I listened, but didn't hear back. The first job I applied to since starting at the call center didn't even have their name listed on the ad, so follow-up is impossible.

Over the weekend I applied for a job that I'm actually really excited about. It's the first one that would be in my women's studies field. It would be teaching youth about sexual and reproductive health. Keep your fingers crossed :)

*Quote from Mother Theresa