Man Friend and I are both incredibly busy people. Between my job, a Mary Kay business, and volunteering, and his job and schoolwork, we barely have time for ourselves, let alone each other. About a year ago, we realized we had been making time for everyone and everything else in our lives, and not for our relationship. Despite living together, we were not spending quality time together. When we did have date night, we found ourselves in a deep rut doing the same thing over and over again. It became predictable. And boring. Between our booked schedules, and the lack of excitement in our lives, our relationship was beginning to suffer.
So, being the problem solvers that we are, we came up with a plan. Monthly "Special Dates," for lack of a more interesting name. And, like any good Rule Follower, I put a few requirements in.
- These dates must be scheduled. This is the most important piece of the equation. At the beginning of each month, we pick a day that works for both of us, and mark it in our calendars. Barring any extenuating circumstances, that date sticks and other plans are made around our date. Picking a day and dedicating time to your spouse or significant other is so crucial to making time for your relationship. Just like I schedule time for my Mary Kay business, and Chris sets aside time for homework, we make plans to enjoy each other's company. After all, isn't that why we're together?
- We must stick with a monthly schedule, to the best of our abilities. Sometimes, life happens. We had a ridiculously hectic summer, which was preceeded by moving. So quite a few months did get missed during the warmer season (though we made sure to still set aside time together at things like the Farmer's Market), but that was a decision made by both of us, and had been discussed. Letting the dates go off to the wayside is not an option - because we'll be back to where we started.
- We must rotate out months of "whose" date it is. Every other month gets swapped for who gets to plan the date. It is important not only to do things that your significant other enjoys, but to find things that you both enjoy doing together.
- We must plan the date to do something out of the ordinary. Maybe it's something we've never done before, or maybe we haven't shared it together. Maybe we've both done the activity, but it's not a normal outing for us. It doesn't matter - it just needs thought behind it. Usually, we try to surprise each other. This is much easier for me to be the surpriser. I am not good at being surprised. Like, how do I dress? What do you mean "casual?" Yoga pants and a tank casual? Jeans, flippies, and a band shirt casual? A nice top, jeans, and boots? Will I be inside or outside? Will I be walking? See, not good at it.
I assumed that if we were struggling with date ideas, we could not be the only couple in this boat. So I decided to share some of our Special Dates with you. I hope it gives someone some fun. And, at the very least, it allows you to explore your own city. These ideas are centralized around Northeast Wisconsin, but are absolutely adaptable for any area. Enjoy!
- Take a day trip to Door County.
- Any time of year is beautiful, but Fall really is ideal. There is so much to see and do, you can find something for everyone. Our trip last Fall was our first day trip alone together, and was one of the best moments in our relationship (for me, anyway). We went to a wine tasting, explored through Peninsula State Park, shopped in the little stores along a main strip, and enjoyed lunch in a cute diner.
- Go bowling.
- Maybe this is pretty run-of-the-mill for some couples, but it wasn't for us. Chris used to bowl quite a bit, but it was never really something I got into. I'm pretty terrible, and have been self conscious of it since becoming an adult. I didn't want to go for the longest time, but with just him, I felt comfortable enough that by the end of our games, I was ok going again with friends.
- Visit the Garden of Lights.
- If you haven't gone to the Botanical Garden in winter to experience the Garden of Lights show, make it a priority to do so. It is such an extraordinary display, and a beautiful experience. And the photo ops are endless.
- Take a brewery tour.
- If you're even remotely interested in the booming craft beer scene, this should be a must. Especially in the Wisconsin area. There are countless breweries in Wisco, but NEW itself has a significant number. Locally, we've been to Titletown and Badger State so far. It's very interesting to learn about the brewing process, and what's different with each company. Plus, you get to try some beer after (or during!) the tour. How could you turn that down?
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| Titletown |
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| Leinie's during our trip to Rock Fest |
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| Leinie's taps |
- Go on a picnic.
- Is there a better season that Summer? Of course not. If you say it's Winter, we're done being friends. Pack up some food, and head to a park with your honey, and enjoy the beautiful weather. Whether you go actual picnic style with a basket, sammies, and a blanket, or you pack up the grill and brats, you can't go wrong. Pamperin is always a good option.
- Eat at Happy Joes - or some other place from your childhood.
- Life is just too damn short to be stuffy. Have fun in your relationship! Be kids for a day, and let loose a little! We each got personal pizzas (Taco Supreme is where it's at) and played the games to our little hearts' content. It should be stated on the record that I kicked ass and got more tickets - but Chris gave me his extra tickets so I could get an extra prize. We traded in our precious tickets for Airheads and Laffy Taffy, because duh.
Other things we've enjoyed, but not for scheduled Special Dates:
- Downtown Farmer's Market
- Pokemon Go play
- Taking a leisurely walk together
- Going to Packers Practice
- Going to Bay Beach, Wildlife Sanctuary, or NEW Zoo
- Pumpkin carving, Easter egg decorating, Christmas cookie decorating
What have you and your significant other done to keep your relationship fun? I'd love to know! Share your (PG) date ideas in the comments below!
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