Becoming a Big

Hello dear readers! About two months ago, I had come to the decision I wanted to become a Big Sister with Big Brothers Big Sisters. I had never really considered the idea until my cousin mentioned how much her friend loved being a Big. Why this had never occurred to me, I don't know. But it was almost like a light switch had gone off. If I was a cartoon character, a nifty little light bulb would have appeared over my head. I just felt it in my gut that this was what I needed to do. The number one thing on my bucket list has been to make a difference in someone's life, particularly a young girl. Working with adolescent or pre-adolescent girls is what I've wanted to do with my Women's Studies minor. This could be it; this could be my calling.

As many of you know, I've done quite a bit of volunteering for the Y in the last two years. I love it fundraising for the Strong Kids Campaign, and GNO has made a tremendous impact in my life. As much as I love working with the GNO girls, though, I was starting to feel like I wanted something more. I wanted to have a more one-on-one experience, or be able to directly impact someone's life. I decided that this could potentially be the perfect opportunity for me.

At the beginning of the year, I made a vow that this year I was going to stop "talking about it" and start "being about it." Becoming a Big was my first stop in the Be About It journey. I knew that if I didn't jump on this desire right away, I would put it on the back burner, never do anything about it, and feel lousy. I looked up BBBS online, gave it less than a week's thought, and called the Green Bay office. I went in for an orientation meeting, and two weeks later, I had an interview set up.

I knew the interview would be pretty intense since it was for the responsibility of taking care of a child, but holy shit. It. Was. Insane. I think it's fair to say it was the most intense interview I've ever had, far more so than any job interview I've been on. It was super intimidating, and by the end, my nerves were shot. The questions were far more difficult than I ever could have anticipated, and were pretty loaded.

After three agonizing weeks, I got a call that not only was I accepted, but they had found me a Little right away! The enrollment specialist at BBBS told me a little about her, and I couldn't have been more excited to me her. She's an only child who is adopted and has been struggling emotionally, particularly with being adopted. I personally don't have any experience with adoptions, but my parents divorced when I was in middle school. I struggled with it a lot and eventually went to counseling. I hoped with my past of questioning parents and my position in the family that I might be a good resource for her or might be at least a little relatable. I accepted the position and antsily waited another week or so to meet her.

Last week we were officially matched. The "match" is mostly paperwork. A lot of paperwork. It was actually kind of dull, but absolutely necessary. The enrollment specialist went over the organization's rules, guidelines and policies and Little, her parents and I signed a rain forest worth of documents. After we had signed our names so many times I was fairly certain I had just signed my life away, Little and I got to hang out for the first time. I took her to experience Smart Cow yogurt bar for the first time and she loved it. Naturally, as any other nine year old would, she dumped in so many sugar-coated toppings that she couldn't come close to finishing her portion.

Before meeting her, I was told my Little was a little on the shy and quiet side. I was fully prepared for her to not talk to me at all, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much she engaged in conversation. She answered all of my questions and even initiated a few of her own. I had quickly started to learn about her and she is pretty damn awesome from what I can tell so far. She doesn't like Bieber, but does love P!nk (one of my all-time favorites), hates swimming (samesies) and likes Monsters, Inc and Despicable Me. She's self-proclaimed obsessed with horses, loves bike riding and Social Studies and hates Math. I know next to nothing about horses, but I'm excited that it will give her something to teach me. All in all, we're pretty much a match made in Big Sister heaven.

Sucky and Super Saturday

In the last few weeks:

Sucky:

• I lost a family member and a friend within two weeks. It's been incredibly emotional and it sucked. A lot.
• I had to move out of my house into a temporary residence just to move again in another few weeks. Read more about it here.
• I hate everything about winter, and it's been a rough one already this year. I even had to miss work one day because it would not have been safe for me to make the commute.
• I had the flu wicked bad and missed almost a full week of work. Three weeks later, Man Friend is now out of commission with the same thing.
• Girls Night Out is not having convening this session. The program as a whole is being evaluated and I will be so bummed if they end it.

Super:

• Even though my friend's funeral was one of the toughest things I've had to do in a long time, it brought together many people. I got to see his family, and some of my friends I hadn't seen in quite some time.
• This blog reached and passed 2,000 views. Patience and effort is paying off!
• I just got signed up to fund-raise for the Strong Kids Campaign with the Y again. Stay tuned for deets!
• Man Friend and I finally got some stress-free alone time and our first date out to dinner by ourselves in months. It was so needed and I had such a good time.

GNO Lock-in

Saturday night, we had our first-ever GNO Lock-in. Even though I decided to leave at 11 instead of sleeping over, I had a blast with the girls and it was a hugely successful night. I found out on Monday at regular GNO that the girls didn't go to bed until about 5:30 a.m. so I was quite glad I left when I did.

The Lock-in was similar to Camp U-Nah-Li-Ya trips in the fact that it was all of the Green Bay GNO girls together. How many girls is that, do you ask? 76. That's right, 76 sixth grade girls together. And that is exactly why I didn't stay over night.

But in all seriousness, it was actually a great time, and I had just as much fun as the girls did. The biggest difference between the lock-in and typical GNO sessions, or even the camp trips, is that there were plenty of different  activities and things for the girls to do, and although activities and time frames were staggered, they never had to do one thing at a certain time. In our Monday sessions, we have a theme and the girls all have to be participating in large and small group activities and the physical component. With the lock-in, they had the opportunity to choose how to spend their time.

Because the Y decided to cut GNO short by a few weeks in order to go up to Camp earlier in the year, they decided to bring some of the guests and themes to the lock-in. The girls were able to do facials with Mary Kay and learn about healthy skin care habits, got to learn about and practice self defense moves as well as lock-in specific activities.

A big hit for a lot of the girls was the two-hour open swim option. I, of course, wanted nothing to do with the pool so I have no idea what they were actually doing, but the majority of them nearly ran us over to get there when we gave them the ok. The girls who didn't want to swim, or only wanted to for a little while, were able to play board games, Wii Just Dance, and paint their nails. One of the volunteers apparently is a nail-painting guru because she brought half of the Health and Beauty section at Walmart with her. Seriously, she had a bin full of nail polishes and application tools. She even had those little image roll-on things. I watched her working on some of the girls' nails and they all turned out wonderfully.

I played a game of Sorry! and more importantly, got to meet some new people. The point of GNO and all of  our efforts are to get the sixth graders to open up and make new friends, but it's just as beneficial for the volunteers. I have a really hard time  talking to new people (though I've gotten way better) and it's really cool to meet other volunteers with similar interests. Our Sorry! game consisted of me, two other volunteers and a girl from a different school. I can't speak for any of them, but I think we enjoyed ourselves.

My final hour at the lock-in was spent watching the girls prepare for their garbage bag fashion show. You read that right. Garbage bag fashion show. The girls had to break up into small groups and had to make one item of clothing out of a garbage bag. They were able to glam up their outfit with strips of fabric, duct tape, foam stickers, glitter, ribbon and pipe cleaners. I was amazed at how well some of the groups did. One group's dress was actually so good it looked real. Many groups made dresses, and the majority were clearly strong channels of creativity. ...And there was also the group that decided they were going to make a cape that was "just random," aka, they just dumped a whole bunch of shit on their flat bag and wore it as a cape. While not the most creative and thought out, they did make me laugh.

If there is one thing those girls are good at, it's making me laugh.

Sucky and Super Not Sunday

Sucky:

•  Over the weekend, Man Friend's mom had to be brought to the ER twice. She developed a pretty severe migraine that just didn't go away. At the hospital, she got an IV for the pain and anti-nausea medication. When the pain didn't subside by the next day, she had to be brought to the hospital by an ambulance. Man Friend found out she recently (in the last year or so) has had 11 mini-strokes. It was really scary, and I know he's been worried about his mom. Watching your mom get hauled off on a stretcher isn't exactly something that you can forget easily. She's been getting a lot of sleep and seems to be feeling a little better. She's also had an appointment with a neurologist, so fingers crossed that they figure something out.
• Monday was the first anniversary of one of my friend's passing. I knew Friend through my sister and is actually how I met Man Friend. Even though I wasn't as close with him as my sister or man friend, it's never easy losing a friend, especially someone as young as 20. The day was pretty difficult for all his friends and family, but a small group of us visited his grave with a little Jack Daniels (his famously favorite drink) and went out to dinner. As much grieving that went on, it's just as helpful to be able to celebrate his life and remember him as more than just sick and/or dead. 

Super:  

• Over the weekend there was a mini crisis at work. Before you ask why a work crisis is listed under the Super category, keep reading. Said crisis involved a massive influx of consumer e-mails. For the first time in the year I've been there, I was put on dedicated e-mail time. I only had to sit on the phones for about two and a half hours the whole day. It was a wonderful and much needed change of pace. Also, I left work not wanted to jump off a cliff. Success.
• I've been doing a lot of volunteering lately, and for the first time Man Friend joined me Saturday. We worked with the Healthy Kids Day put on by the Y to kick off summer. It was one of the most fun events I volunteered for. The free even featured college basketball and soccer players, a bounce house, face painting, a magician, healthy choices tables, MMA demonstrations, hula hooping, a trail mix bar, arts and crafts, rock climbing and a children's run. We served over 8,000 families that day. I helped with he trail mix bar, and holy shit, did we go through a TON of food. Cases of each: goldfish crackers, cheerios, marshmallows, raisins, pretzels, and sunflower seeds. 

Sucky and Super Saturday

Sucky:

• It has been cold and rainy this week. I hate weather changes, and hate being cold even more. I also lose any and all motivation to do anything with myself when the weather is crummy. I just want to curl up in bed and watch tv. For eternity.
• Work hasn't gotten any better. In fact, it's gotten worse. Last week we were so busy I was taking between 75 and 85 calls every day, got shouted at by consumers for the long wait time, and had far too many nasty calls. I left work in tears almost every day, was so frustrated I was just ready to give up, have been having nightmares, lost sleep, and was even fighting with man friend because I was so stressed out I turned into a crabby, irrational bitch. 
• The hot flashes have started back up. They calmed down and even went away for a week or two, and I thought I was in the clear. I was wrong. I start flashin at super inconvenient times, and get so overwhelmingly hot I just want to rip my clothes off. If I ever get health insurance, I can go to the doctor and see what the fuck is the deal.

Super:

• Wednesday was my man friend's birthday. We hung out at the Stadium bars, he got his free drinks, and we hung out with his coworker, friends and cousins. I wrote him a little piece and got him a rotating picture frame (it looks like a ferris wheel and I'm fascinated by it) and printed off pictures of us for it. For being in the middle of the week, it turned out to be a great night
• Thursday I went out as well. Two nights in a row, especially during the week, is almost inexistent for me. I met up with some friends I hadn't seen in a while and had a really good time. I'm really glad I went.
• I FINALLY got a laptop! My desktop had been giving me a lot of problems ever since it got "fixed" by the campus IT people when I was in college. For the last year, I've pretty much just been borrowing other people's computers. It's so nice now to be able to job search, write, and just simply surf the Internet whenever I want and not have to rely on someone else. It's equally as fantastic being able to take my laptop with me somewhere and not having a stationary desktop.
• Last weekend, today and next weekend have been/will be filled with volunteering and goodness. I spent the day at Camp U-Nah-Li-Ya, you can read about it here, today I participated in the March of Dimes walk for babies and next Saturday I will be volunteering for the YMCA's Healthy Kids Day. It feels so good to be donating time/money to such worthy causes. My volunteer work is the only thing keeping me from going crazy about my lack of success after college.  

Camp U-Nah-Li-Ya

Last Saturday was the end-of-session day trip to Camp U-Nah-Li-Ya with Girls Night Out. To conclude each session, the GNO groups from all the Green Bay Ys spend a day at camp. This particular trip was rather small, only two groups. It ended up working out just fine that way. 30 sixth graders is a tad more manageable than 60.

This was my third time up with GNO, and maybe the best. Certainly better than in December, that's for sure. The girls were super well behaved and seemed to really enjoy themselves. There was only one minor meltdown when one of the girls had a giant spider land on her and she started crying. Otherwise, a definite success.

The weather was beautiful, better than what we had anticipated. The sun was out all day, it was decently warm after lunch and there wasn't any snow. Because it was so nice out, we actually got to spend the whole day outside, whereas the last two trips we spend at least half the day inside.

The day was broken into two main chunks, survival skills and canoeing. My group did the survival skills section first, and the staff guy had made it a Hunger Games theme, which I think the girls really liked. It was cool to be able to make it into something relatable for them. I feel like survival skills were more appealing to them when they could think of it in terms of a movie instead of just because.

The girls learned how to build a fire, and became part of the one-match club. They split into two groups and had to use their new knowledge to build a mini fire. Each group had an area to build in between two steaks in the ground and a string tying them together. The first group to get their fire big enough to burn their string won.

When the fires had been put out, they moved a little farther into the woods and learned how to build shelters. Of the three trips, this group of girls had the best teamwork by a landslide, and thus, had the most successful shelters. I've found that typically one or two girls designate themselves to be leaders and completely take over while other girls stand in the background. Last Saturday, the girls communicated great, shared the work, and followed instructions to result in working shelters.

After some large group games/icebreakers and lunch, we headed out to the lake for some canoeing. I'm not even going to pretend like I was excited for this. In fact, I was really hoping we wouldn't go. Well, we did. One of the girls was really scared too, so we got paired together. At first I thought putting two scared people together was probably the dumbest idea ever thought of. Neither one of us really wanted to even get into the canoe. We both just stood there, trying to think of excuses for why we couldn't get in. I think we both realized at the same time that we weren't going to get let off that easy. Trembling, I got in and sat down.     Although we didn't master turning as well as most of the other teams, and we were still uneasy, we managed

to get out to about the middle of the water and we saw the giant snapping turtle.

When we finished canoeing, there was a little extra time left and the instructor took us on a nature walk through camp. We got to see some the brand new buildings, and got to see a bunch of turtles. The instructor told us that in the middle of the afternoon, the turtles like to come out of the water and soak up the warm sun, so if we were extra quiet, we would be able to see him. Believe it or not, 15 sixth grade girls managed to stay silent and we got to see at least 20 painted turtles and five or ten of the big snapping turtles. It was a phenomenal sight to see (pics coming soon).

There is no better exercise for your heart, than reaching down and helping to lift someone up*

I've been spending a lot of time at the Y lately, and my time there has become something I really look forward to. This week, I've been there three evenings, and those few hours each night have been the better parts of my week.

Monday - GNO week 2

GNO was really fun this week. I think the girls, and the volunteers, enjoyed themselves quite a bit. This week is one of my favorites of the whole program every session, especially since we did completely different activities than we have in the past two sessions. The theme of Hopes and Dreams is really great to see the girls start to open up. We learn what they're passionate about, what they want for their future. As a group we read Oh the Places You'll Go, and had two smaller activities in which we discussed how to attain goals, the difference between long and short term goals, and how sometimes you can't always achieve all your goals and how to deal with that. Our physical activity was kick-boxing. The girls seemed to really enjoy it and, much to my delight, all participated again. The instructor told them they were the best group she's taught so far, and I'm certain she meant it. I'm so proud of them already. It's relieving to not have to constantly scold or argue with them. I really enjoyed kick-boxing and it was a great workout. It totally kicked my ass in a good way. Unfortunately, my stupid leg couldn't handle all the jumping associated with the workout and I was only able to participate in about half of the activity.

Tuesday - Strong Kids Campaign kick-off

A few months ago, I asked the lady in charge of GNO if there were any other volunteer opportunities. She got back to me about a fundraising campaign that helps bring in money to GNO and other youth programs. I jumped at the opportunity and chose the online option. After just under two months of anticipation, the kick-off was last night. The biggest reason for the kick-off was so the phone campaigners could start making their calls, but it also started the annual fundraiser and gave really strong information about how the program works and who it benefits. This fundraiser helps send kids to the Day Camp, brings in money for activities and supplies for GNO, and gives scholarships so people can keep memberships. After hearing personal stories from children and families who have benefited from the Strong Kids Campaign, I was even more excited to start raising money. It's so incredibly rewarding to know I'm helping kids participate in programs they otherwise may not be able to. I'm also very excited to be able to bring some donations for my girls. As a program, there isn't much they have for themselves. We share supplies, rooms and equipment with the daycare programs. The hope is also that donations will reduce the fee that each child has to pay to participate. I couldn't be more excited to be part of such a great institution as the Y.

Wednesday - Zumba

I've been going to Zumba (nearly) every week and I'm so glad I found this class/instructor/exercise. Basically, I was given a bunch of free passes to attend just her class since I don't have a membership, but do an assload of volunteering for the Y. I have so much fun that sometimes I forget I'm even working out. It's a great full body workout that doesn't aggravate my tempramental leg too much. This week the instructor brought back some old songs from a few months ago and even a brand new one. "The best part about doing a brand new song is if I screw up, you guys won't know!" I can tell I'm finally starting to get in shape because I wasn't so out of breath, and actually wasn't even feeling tired until the tail end of the 45 minute class. I'm also starting to get more flexible and was able to stretch a lot further.

*Bernard Meltzer

GNO week 1

Good morning, dear readers! Last night started up a new session of Girls Night Out, and so far, I'm very excited. Each session is with a new group of girls from a different school. This semester, I'm working with girls from the middle school that I went to and that my younger sister is attending as well. While it may be too early to tell, this group of girls already seem more behaved than my last group. My biggest hope for the next two and a half months is that they really are this well behaved and their behavior stays this way.

I'm working with another advisor this session (three different advisors thus far) and she seems to be really good at her job. She said it's her fifth year in the program and I can definitely tell. She's very firm, and starts off like that so there will be no questions later in the program...but not bitchy firm. I can tell already I'm going to like her. She relates to the girls well, but makes it known she has a low bullshit tolerance. The perfect balance, if you ask me.

The first week is like the first day of the semester in school. We explained the program, introduced ourselves and talked about the expectations of GNO. After a few ice breaker activities, our physical activity was Zumba. I was really excited for the Zumba, especially because the class was taught by the lady whose class I take every week at the Y. Most of the girls seemed to really get into it. After the night ended, a friend/dance teacher at the Y actually wrote on my page that the Zumba instructor told her how impressed she was with the girls. We're off to a great start! The only problem that I had was not realizing we were going to be doing a physical activity on the first night. I wore Chucks instead of quality tennies and was a tad dehydrated. Which means that today my calves are killing me with every step I take. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

The advisor told us some of the other physical activites that we're going to be doing, and I'm really excited for them as well. Some of the activities are repeated every session and some are new, to me at least. We will be doing yoga, step, kick boxing, and relay races, among others.

GNO week 3

I can't believe I've already had three Mondays with my new group of girls at the Y! I really enjoy this program and it's the one thing I really look forward to every week. The two hours a week I spend with these girls is more rewarding than the 40 hours a week I spend at work (I finally quit my part time job at Target. Hooray for being down to one job again!) or anything else in my life, really. Unfortunately, though, there are a few girls this session that are really trying my patience. More on that in a little bit.

This week we focused on positive influences, inspirational material and why it's awesome to be a girl. The first half of the night the girls created collages. In groups of four, they each cut out about four images or words out of magazine and then pasted them together on construction paper. After the groups finished their projects, one girl from each group explained the importance of their work. Two things really stuck out to me. "I picked out a car, because I'm going places" and "We put a cancer ribbon on {our collage} because a lot of women get breast cancer. And sometimes they lose their hair and don't feel beautiful anymore. But they're always beautiful." Sometimes, I'm absolutely blown away by what comes out of the mouths of children.

Our physical activity this week was Zumba. Many of the girls, myself included, absolutely fell in love with this exercise. I had never done this before, but have been excited to try it for some time. We danced to about 6 or 7 songs, my favorite of them being Stereo Hearts by the Gym Class Heroes. This workout kicked my butt, and the best part? Not once did it feel like a workout! One of the girls came up to me as they were leaving and told me she loved Zumba and wanted to do it every day. It was great to see the girls enjoy themselves so much.

...Unfortunately, this is where the program is getting trying. There have been about six girls out of the group who really test my patience every week. They don't listen to any of the volunteers or the advisor and blatantly do the exact opposite of what they're asked. They don't participate in any of the group activities, and you'd think we were asking them to go through a root canal the way they refuse to join in the physical activities. They don't even try it, but miraculously, know they don't like it. Isn't that convenient? I tried really hard to get the girls to join in, but I would have better luck nailing jello to a tree.
Me: Girls, you'd be able to see the instructor better if you got in line.
Girl 1: I don't want to see her!
Me: Well, you guys should participate, it's a lot of fun!
After the next song, Me: Girls you really need to participate with everyone else.
Girl 2: Can I go get a drink?
Me: Didn't you just do that?
Girl 2: No, I went to the bathroom before.
Me: Fine, but if you're not back in five minutes I'm coming after you.
After the next song: Girls, if you're not going to participate, you need to be quiet so everyone else can.
Girls: Ok. Continue to talk in a circle.
Repeat previous two lines two more times.
This went on until after the physical activity, where they refused to sit by the advisor to listen for the next week's activities, continued to color after they were told they needed to line up to leave, and continued to look me in the eye, say ok, and then go back to what was clearly more important.

Now, I understand middle schoolers get riled up and I understand having to deal with attitude problems. I'm more than prepared to handle that. What I am struggling with is being a volunteer with little authority or apparently imporantance in their lives. They are not made to be there (well, they probably are by their parents). They don't listen to one person in the room, they talk over everyone and don't participate in one activity. This is incredibly frustrating and takes nearly all of my energy for the night. The small chatter turns into screaming as they try to talk over instructions and other girls, and then other girls become distracted, and before I know it, I have an entire room of screaming, uncooperative sixth graders.

This is exactly how I know I will never become a teacher.

Girls Night Out, weeks 1 and 2

Last week, Girls Night Out started. It's one thing I really look forward to every week, and makes Mondays a little less "Monday." Start watching for Monday posts about GNO, in addition to other weekly(ish) posts. This is one  thing that's consistent every week, so I can almost guarantee a post a week will be dedicated to my Monday evenings with my girls.

Week one: The very first session is mostly getting to know each other. The volunteers meet each other, we briefly go over what to expect in the program with the adviser, we get to know the girls, and of course, the girls chat it up with each other. We made a "quilt" for the class for one of our ice-breakers. Each of the girls, including   us volunteers (my favorite part of the program is participating in the activities with the girls), decorated a square of paper. We had to write our name, and could decorate it to show our personality. When we were all done, the squares got put together into a quilt.

Our physical activity of the night was line dancing. The girls learned the Electric Slide, the Cupid Shuffle and one or two other moves.

Week two: This week's theme was goals, hopes and dreams. For the very first part of the night, we had a guest speaker. Miss Teen Wisconsin came in to talk to the girls about winning the pageant, and what it took her to get there. After explaining what the pageant was like, and how hard she had to work to raise the money herself and work towards her goal, she opened the floor to the girls to ask questions.

Then we broke into two groups for a small group activity. I was only a leader for one activity, so maybe next week I'll have more insight into the other small groups' work. The activity I was in charge of was to write a letter to themselves. The girls had to answer what a goal for themselves was for a week from now, two weeks from now, six months and a year. Some even went an extra step to add in a life-time or more long term goal. If there's one thing I've learned from last spring's session and tonight, it's that kids in this age have a very hard time answering questions about themselves on their own. They constantly ask what the right answer is or what they should put. I make sure the girls answer all the questions on their own, and make it clear that there is no right answer. Whatever they feel is the right answer. I do, however, help them if they're really stuck by asking them open-ended questions to start prodding them in one direction or another.

The girls did some more line dancing tonight, which I don't think they were too fond of. They didn't seem too thrilled to line dance in the first place, let alone doing it two weeks in a row. We did the Electric Slide and the Cupid Shuffle again and also learned Amy's Dance, which was to the Saturday Night Fever song. Just like last week, the volunteers enjoyed the Cupid Shuffle more than the sixth graders.

Part Two: Solutions

As yesterday's post clearly shows, I've been rather unhappy lately. Sometimes I wonder why I let my financial and professional situations take over the rest of my moods/emotions/satisfaction with life. I have family I actually get along with really well and, unlike many of my peers, really enjoy spending time with them. My parents and sisters are more than just family, they're my friends. My friends are a fantastic support system, are fun as hell to be around, are there when I need to vent or cry, my roommate/long time friend makes me laugh every single day, and I have an amazing boyfriend I'm head over heels in love with. I have some of the greatest people surrounding me who would do anything for the ones they love. I graduated college with honors and in four years. I've moved out of my mom's house and on my own. I bought my car (from here on out to be referred to as her name, Carly. Don't judge.) shortly after graduating and it's actually relatively new and in really great condition. Granted, my dad had to be a cosigner, but I make all the payments on my own. I'm healthy, my friends and family are healthy. Sometimes, I think I just need a reality check.

Regardless of how irrational or unjustified my frustrations are, they're there. And I'm finally trying to do something about it. I want so much out of life and it's completely up to me to get there.

Job searching: The biggest reason I'm so unhappy is my job. I want a job in my field. I want a job I love and actually look forward to going to every morning. I don't want to feel like my degree was a waste of paper. I want a job closer to home, so I'm not commuting every day (though I'd gladly still commute for a job in my field or that I loved). Instead of just complaining how much I hate my job, I'm trying to find a new one. CareerBuilder and Simply Hired (among others) have been my best friends in the last month. I try to look for jobs every day. At the very least, I search every other day. Unfortunately, not much has been posted lately. I updated my LinkedIn profile and have polishing my resume to make it perfect. I have a few applications out there, all for jobs in my field. There's one in particular I'm really excited for: a social media and PR coordinator position that's literally just a few minutes away from my house.

Writing: In addition to trying to keep up with this blog, I've been trying to do some freewriting a few times a week. I found a list of prompts and spend about 7-15 minutes writing about the topic I choose. Yesterday's prompt is actually proving to be a lot of fun. I think it's going to be the first thing I actually write without a workshop class or my instructor Dave that will go somewhere. I also want to start submitting my fiction piece Beauty is Pain. I started submitting it back in February but dropped it for a while. I've got a list of magazines I want to submit to, so I just need to actually submit. Note to self: submit to those magazines this week and don't forget again like you did three weeks ago.

Volunteering: The volunteer program that I work with starts up again Monday and I couldn't be more excited. The program is called Girls Night Out and it's through the Green Bay YMCA. Every Monday a group of sixth grade girls meets at the Y for two hours. Each day of the week is dedicated to a different middle school. Each week has a different theme that we focus on. The first hour is "learning" and the second hour is a physical activity. As a volunteer, I lead small group discussions with the girls, and can join in on the activity if I wish. The girls learn about things like communication, positive role models, healthy eating habits, and bullying. After the "classroom" portion, we go to the gym for rock climbing, yoga, dodge ball and other gym/recess games. I have so much fun with my girls. It's the one thing that really makes me feel like I'm making a difference to someone, and I feel like I'm at least using my Women's Studies minor.

Freewriting took a backseat today to continue working with yesterday's piece.