Hello, dear readers! Thank you for spending some of your day with me. I don't ask too much of you readers, but I do have one request of you today. While you're enjoying the last leg of your three day weekend, please take a small break from National BBQ day to reflect on the true meaning of this holiday. Take some time to thank a vet or stop by a cemetery with some flowers.
I'll step off my little soap box now and jump onto a Sucky and Super train.
Sucky:
- I had a very unexpected melt-down Friday evening. I was in a great mood and happened to drive past the apartment complex that one of my closest friends and her boyfriend lived in. You may remember them from zombie dates and this going away letter. Anyway, I just started bawling out of nowhere. I hadn't even been thinking about anything specifically, but damnit I miss my friends. I think it especially hit me hard because Memorial Day weekend my friends and I used to have a giant day-long party.
- I had to say "no" to my Little for the first time this week. I've realized very quickly that she is a typical only child who is used to always getting her way and I don't think she hears "no" very often. It wasn't over anything major, and I could have easily caved in, but I needed to stand my ground. While making the "no" decision, I knew if I hadn't given her that answer, she would know immediately how easily it could be to walk over me. It was difficult to do, because I don't want to be the stern rule-enforcer, but rather, the fun person she enjoys hanging out with. It is also hard to tell where my boundaries are in this non-familial relationship. I stood my ground and after a little bit of begging threw out the "the answer is no" line and she finally accepted it.
- This afternoon I will be visiting the cemetery to visit my friend, the one I got this tattoo for: Visiting the cemetery is such a bittersweet feeling. On one hand, it's a very real reminder that he is gone and after nearly 9 1/2 years since his death, I am still incredibly overwhelmed with a slough of emotions. I miss him so much and it's still so hard to grasp that I am four years older than he was when he died. However, as sad as I get, sitting out in the cemetery is the best way I have ever been able to cope. I sit at his grave remembering and talking to him. It's the most peaceful and soothing place I have been. I'm having a bad day and want some space, what do I do? Sit out there and cry to my heart's content in privacy. I need to get lost in my thoughts? I sit out there for hours contemplating life. I just want some peace and quiet? I bring a beach towel and book out and read by myself. I don't care if any of this is weird or creepy. It brings me solace.
Super:
- Although I wasn't able to throw a major bash yesterday, I was able to put together a successful cookout at Pamperin Park with plenty of snacks, drinks and grilled food. I am growing much closer to getting to know Man Friend's friends. I think I can safely say I have started to think of them as our friends or even my friends too, and not just his friends. The weather was mostly cooperative, and it was quite fun, even though Man Friend had to run to Wal-Mart to get a little grill since all the park ones were occupied. Man Friend and I also walked around Celebrate DePere for a while and got to listen to a local band, The Shaker and the Egg. Also quite enjoyable.
- Man Friend and I have been actively trying to lose weight and better our overall health. We both downloaded the My Fitness Pal app, which has helped tremendously. Far more than I expected it to, actually. It has been a struggle staying within my allotted 1340 daily calories, and have gone over several times, but I have hit my goal of one pound a week for these first two weeks of recording. That app is so nice to help keep track of what you're eating, not to mention a good eye-opener for the amount of things you put into your body. It also tracks the exercise you put in, which is equally as helpful. However, the most helpful thing is to have someone right by your side doing the same thing. We're able to encourage each other and since we're both trying, we aren't keeping any junk food in the house. I already feel less lethargic and it's so nice to be back on track with a healthier lifestyle.
- Despite having to say "no" to my Little, we have been having a lot of fun every week. We've been able to spend our time outside and enjoying nature. In the last two weeks, we have walked through a woodsy area on a nature walk and went to the Wildlife Sanctuary. We walked around feeding the ducks and looking through some of the exhibits. I learn new things about her every week and always enjoy our time together.
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