Reality Check

Sometimes, I don't know why I have a Facebook. That's right, I said it. Self-proclaimed Facebook addict has it in writing that some days I want to deactivate the thing. And here's why. Not one day goes by that someone isn't posting about fabulous things happening in their life. Nothing gets me more bummed than to pull up my news feed to see someone posting pictures from a fabulous vacation or honeymoon or an event they attended. Or the number one culprit, seeing someone who just got hired for their dream job. Hell, even someone who gets a promotion at work irks me. I see all these things that I'm not doing and my mood instantly drops. I will even publicly admit in front of the Internet and everyone that it makes me bitter. Crabby. Resentful, even. Financially, vacations are not feasible right now. Even if I could manage to save up for a trip, my current job does not offer any vacation time at all. Taking a vacation with unpaid days off is nearly impossible. The three days I take off for Rock Fest every summer fucks me for weeks after, but it's the only "vacation" I get. So I take the blow and go. I cannot afford to take time off for anything else, nor can I afford to go to big events or buy myself presents. I am not in my dream job, or even a permanent one for that matter. So I go on Facebook, get down on myself, and contemplate deleting my number one source of communication. I start moping about how my life sucks and how everyone has a greater life than me. And that's a problem. This is when I need to just grab myself by the shoulders and shout to myself, "Mon, would you shut the fuck UP and LISTEN to yourself?!"

Not only is it not fair to myself, but constantly comparing myself to others is exhausting. Not to mention inaccurate. Frankly, I've led a pretty damn good life thus far, and have already accomplished and experienced so many things. Since I'm currently in a really great mood, I have decided to come up with my checklist of why my life is already awesome. So when I'm in a salty mood, I can come here and give myself a reality check. This is for me to remember that just because I may not be exactly where I want to be in my life right now, I've already gotten pretty far. And this just proves that since I know I've accomplished this much, I have plenty of years ahead of me to accomplish everything else I want to.

• I've gotten to do a decent amount of traveling, and mostly because of school. I've already visited:
• Memphis, Birmingham, Selma, Montgomery and Atlanta on a Civil Rights Pilgrimage. I learned more on that trip than all my years of schooling and got phenomenal, once in a life-time first-hand accounts of the Civil Rights Movement.
• Oklahoma City on a week-long Habitat for Humanity trip. This week was so rewarding and gave a lot of things a new perspective.
• Hawaii, which was by far the most gorgeous place I have seen so far. Absolute paradise
• New York City, Washington DC and Chicago
• I've been to music festivals like Rock Fest and Summerfest on multiple occasions, which allowed me to see countless concerts and try new foods.
• I've been able to see my top five favorite bands, most of them on multiple occasions.
• Actually, I've been to quite a few concerts in general
• I've known I'm a writer since the third grade. I didn't have to struggle with a major or focus in school. I already knew.
• I graduated with my Bachelor's in Writing with a Women's Studies minor in four years and with honors. 
• I've gained a lot of confidence in the last few years. 
• Although my self-esteem has been shit for the better half of my life, it's building. I'm learning to appreciate and respect myself. A big part of that has come from encouragement from the wonderful people around me. I'm gaining confidence in my abilities and am learning there are some things I am really damn good at. And it's ok to say it.
• Speaking of people surrounding me, I have the very best friends I could ever ask for. And I'm pretty sure they're better than yours. Even though my closest friends are the farthest away, I know that they are only a call or text away if I need them. Even if I just need a good laugh, I can count on them.
• I found the love of my life at a relatively young age.
• When my scumbag ex cheated on me and therefore ended our engagement, I didn't think I would ever love again. Never mind that I was merely 21 years old and tons of people that age haven't even had a boyfriend yet. I never wanted to feel that gut wrenching pain again. Luckily for me though, I was able to find love again. A much better, more honest and true love. I fell head over heels in love with Man Friend and knew it after only three weeks together. And I have fallen even more in love with him every single day since. Accepting his date offer was one of the best decisions I have ever made. (Ok, sorry. You all have permission to vomit now.)
• I experience the joy of volunteering every week. Giving back to those kids has changed my life and taught me so much. I look forward to seeing my Little all week long, and I anxiously wait for Y events to be a part of. 
• I have a car to myself that's in good condition. It's reliable and perfectly nugget-size for 5'2 me. It's no Mustang, but it sure as hell isn't a junker either.
• I've been able to move out of my parents house. I got to experience living with my best friend for two years and now get to live with Man Friend.
• I've been able to attend two Packers games.
• I've been camping, which I found out I love. It may not seem like much, but to someone who has never been outside city limits or living, it's a big deal.

Until next time, my friends, enjoy your lives.