I Have Real, Human Emotions

Hello dear readers! I've been struggling to come up with what to write the last few days. I made a vow to myself that I was going to be more active here than I was last year, and I will be damned if I break my promise to myself. Last year, I blogged when I felt like it, and kind of lost touch sometimes. There were months when I only had one post. I've been getting better at making sure to get my weekly post done, but one thing I need to work on is setting a time aside every week for myself and my writing. I had several hours a week set aside for writing for class and homework when I was in college, so why do I have such a hard time making one hour at the exact same time every week now?

Anyway, I find it so much harder to write when I'm struggling with days, myself or life in general. I have so much more to say when things aren't going well, and so much more raw emotions to work with that presents unlimited writing material. The hard stuff is what makes you relatable to others. Not just in writing, but in real life as well. It's what brings people together, and writing about whatever has been on my mind has always been therapeutic for me.

I've definitely had a lot to work with lately. So far, my inkling that 2013 was going to be fabulous has been terribly wrong. I know, I know, it's only two months into the new year. But in those two months, I've had the worst flu/sickness I've had in at least five years, had essentially a week to move out of my house since I was sick for a week, realized how much Former Roomie's friendship meant and how much it hurt having to say "see ya later" (I've cried more in public in the last two weeks than I ever have in my life), found out the majority of my closest friends will be moving across the country, my sister will be joining my mom and moving out of state, winter driving gives me terrible anxiety, I've missed work and have been late to work because of the roads, I lost a friend, lost a family member, had even more stress at work than usual, and am continuously being rejected for job after job.

So what's the problem, you say? Somehow, throwing all my feels out there to the world makes my struggles and emotions so much more real. It's hard to admit I'm not as strong as I'd like to be. It's hard opening up and knocking down that wall of stubborn-ness and independence that I've had guarding my persona. It's so much easier only sharing when things are going well and sharing when I'm having so much fun. After two weeks of public sobbing in preparation of former Roomie moving across the country, I told Man Friend how much I hate crying, especially in front of others. I told him I don't want anyone to see me cry because it makes me vulnerable. He told me to not ever think of crying as leaving myself vulnerable. He said it makes you stronger because you're dealing with your emotions and showing that you care about something. And damnit if that wasn't one of the truest and most profound things I've heard in a while.

So, I'm going to try my best to heed his advice. World, be prepared for some raw and heartfelt posts. That's not to say I'm only going to write when I'm unhappy or only share emotional moments. Hell to the no. I want to share the happy moments, the stupid things that happen in my life and how much fun I have too. I'm just going to try to learn that actually sharing the bad with the good isn't so terrible. I want to be able to share more than just what's stressful. I want to try really hard to delve deeper and actually say WHY I'm stressed or struggling and how it makes me feel. Not just that it's happening. And eventually, it won't be so hard.

I'm feeling better already.

Cheap Date Night Ideas

I'm constantly trying to think of new date night ideas for myself and Man Friend. For one, we're both in quite the financial pinch and cannot always do the dinner and movie that we would ideally like to do. For another, frankly, I get bored doing the same thing over and over. I find that often times we get in a rut of watching tv at home. I get bored and crabby (especially in winter when cabin fever takes over) and that leads to tiffs, and lack of conversation. When you're zoning out in front of the tv, you don't communicate at all. And isn't that why you want to spend time with your significant other, to enjoy their conversation and company? I've come up with a list of fun and low-cost date night ideas, for any couples out there who ever get themselves into a rut. Some are specific to the Green Bay area, and others are more generic.

• Make a meal together
• Have a movie, pizza, wine night in. Bonus: picking a movie together that neither of you have seen before.
• Go for a long walk. Even better, if you have a nature trail to go on
• Have a game night
• Volunteer together. Note: Man Friend and I volunteered together and it was one of the best times we spent together. Not only did we do something to give back to the community, but Man Friend wanted to do something new with me that I really enjoyed.
• Spend a day at the Wildlife Sanctuary. 
• Go to an Amusement Park. Bay Beach, for Green Bay-ers
• Go to a zoo. NEW zoo for Green Bay, or if you're looking for a bit of a road trip, make your way up to the DeYoung family zoo in Michigan.
• Walk through the Garden of Lights around Christmas in Green Bay



Our Christmas cookies from this year

• Decorate Christmas cookies 
• Carve pumpkins for Halloween
• Color Easter eggs
• See re-enactments at Heritage Hill in Green Bay
• Go to a museum. Green Bay's Neville has a lot of temporary exhibits, so you can choose something you're interested in.
• Lay outside and star-gaze. Leave the cell phones inside!
• Have a picnic lunch or dinner at a park
• Go sledding
• Go to a movie in the park showing.
• Looking for some intimacy? Take a hot bath with candles lit. Massages after never hurt.
• Watch a Packers practice in Green Bay in the weeks leading up to pre-season
• Find a free or low-admission concert. Small festivals are good for this. Fourth of July Downtown, Bay Fest, county fairs or Celebrate DePere are good options in Green Bay. 
• Go out for ice cream. Bonus: walking or biking there.

Sucky and Super Saturday

In the last few weeks:

Sucky:

• I lost a family member and a friend within two weeks. It's been incredibly emotional and it sucked. A lot.
• I had to move out of my house into a temporary residence just to move again in another few weeks. Read more about it here.
• I hate everything about winter, and it's been a rough one already this year. I even had to miss work one day because it would not have been safe for me to make the commute.
• I had the flu wicked bad and missed almost a full week of work. Three weeks later, Man Friend is now out of commission with the same thing.
• Girls Night Out is not having convening this session. The program as a whole is being evaluated and I will be so bummed if they end it.

Super:

• Even though my friend's funeral was one of the toughest things I've had to do in a long time, it brought together many people. I got to see his family, and some of my friends I hadn't seen in quite some time.
• This blog reached and passed 2,000 views. Patience and effort is paying off!
• I just got signed up to fund-raise for the Strong Kids Campaign with the Y again. Stay tuned for deets!
• Man Friend and I finally got some stress-free alone time and our first date out to dinner by ourselves in months. It was so needed and I had such a good time.