On a personal note...

Hello dear readers! It's been a while since I've had a "personal" entry not based around work, job searching or GNO (though the week 5 update is next), so I figured I'd give you some interesting tidbits, especially since my past weekend was jam-packed with parties.

Friday was a friend's 21st birthday. Said friend and I aren't very close friends, but I know him through my sister and man-friend. We went out, and as is typical on a 21st birthday, Friend was already smashed by the time I got out to the bars. He doesn't remember anything past getting Subway at 10:30, which always makes for a good time for everyone else out. Around midnight, I just got exhausted and wanted to go home. Somehow, I ended up bringing home a friend of a friend, whom I'd only met once prior. She hadn't asked for a ride, just somehow showed up at my car. Nothing aggravates me more than having to give people rides unexpectedly. If I know about it in advance, and if the ride is asked for, it's usually not a big deal. However, when it's just assumed I'll drive someone home it really grates on my nerves. I hate feeling like everyone's personal (free) taxi. Buuut I feel guilty if they don't have any other way home, and almost obligated to do it, knowing they need a safe ride. Begrudgingly, I brought her home.

Saturday was jam-packed. I hardly had a moment to myself, but it was a great day. In the early afternoon, I had a friend's baby shower. I was a little nervous at first. The only time I had ever been to the church it was held at was for a friend's funeral a few months ago. Pulling into the driveway was a little painful at first, but it was a lot of fun, great food, and a chance to catch up with some ladies who I don't talk to very often. We played Baby BINGO, a version I hadn't heard of. You start with a blank BINGO board and write in your own answers, all gifts you think the mom will get. As she's opening her presents, you mark off the items on your board. It was a great way to get the guests involved, and give everyone something to do while presents are opened, which is great for fidgeters like me.

Right after the shower I headed to my dad's for a family birthday party. My sister (14), stepbrother (12) and cousin (12) all have birthdays within a few days of each other, so the family celebrates them all at once. I'm really close with my family and always enjoy get-togethers. Apparently, my dad's coworker makes cakes on the side and baked each kid a personal cake. It was pretty cool. My sister is saving up for a laptop (seriously, how many 14 year olds do that?!) and just wanted money to go towards her computer. I didn't get her a present for either of her parties (one for mom's family, one for dad's) but told her I'd take her to Best Buy to go shopping. She has a $20 limit to pick out stuff for her computer. She's excited for free stuff and I'm excited to spend time with her. Win-win.

Saturday night I went to a costume party at one of my typical hang-out bars. I was expecting a lot of people to be there, as about 40 RSVPd yes on Facebook, and people had been talking about it for a while. I got there any only a few people actually came, and even fewer showed up in costume. It was a little uncomfortable being super dressed up in a short little pirate costume (pics to come soon!), feeling super sexy, and no one else dressed up. The two bartenders had sexy costumes and one girl who used to work there as well. Some of the guys were dressed up funny costumes, but I was definitely outnumbered. Whatever, I got the $15 all you can drink special for showing up in costume. I was kind of bummed that it had bombed so bad; I was really looking forward to seeing a bunch of people. But there was a band playing (and they're actually pretty good for a high school band. Check them out here) and I hung out with my cousin and man-friend and we had a really good time, considering.

Sunday I had a Packer party at my dad's house for the Packers vs. Vikings game. My dad lives only a few minutes away from the Stadium and has his garage entirely decked out in Packer decorations. He even painted the walls green and yellow and hung a stuffed lion, cabbage patch doll/viking and a bear from "nooses" aka his deer hooks. It's the perfect place to watch games. I've been planning this party for a long time and was really excited for it. I invited people on Facebook, and then texted all the maybes and not yet replied a few days before to see who was all coming. Unfortunately, a lot of people had prior plans. I was bummed, but I totally understand. If you made plans before,  you made plans before. Not a big deal. However, there were several people who said they were coming and didn't. It wasn't until I texted them right before the game that I found out they wouldn't be there. I was really hurt and disappointed after I made food and had been so excited for people to come over and watch the game. Logically I know I shouldn't have, but I took it a little personally. Luckily though, two friends and my cousin showed up. We ended up eating most of the food and the it was a pretty eventful game, so we all enjoyed ourselves. The Packers beat the Vikings 33-27, putting them at 7-0 for the season. Amazing.

Moral of the story: Even though I got a little grouchy a few times, I had a very successful weekend.

GNO week 4

Yesterday's session elicited some mixed feelings. It started off a little rough. And by a little, I mean it wasn't even organized chaos. Luckily, though, it ended significantly better than it started.

I went into the session already grouchy, with little desire to be there. In fact, I debated not going at all. Last week's session really left a sour taste in my mouth. I had been frustrated for two weeks prior, and last week topped it off. Fortunately, I won't let myself give up so easily. Begrudgingly, I went.

I got there about 10 minutes early, as per usual for the volunteers, to find a handful of girls there already and getting their snacks out. The other volunteers weren't there (I later found out they got stuck in traffic) and the advisor wasn't there (we find out about 5 minutes after the program started that she was sick) and the volunteer coordinator (the advisor's boss, essentially) had no idea what was going on. An entire pitcher of lemonade got knocked over and one of the girls slipped in the puddle. Without the advisor, we had no activity planned and had to completely wing it. Luckily, though, the program has a binder with the theme for each week and two options for activities.


This picture really stumped them.



The theme this week was about beauty, inside and out, and what it means to be beautiful. One thing we focused on was a "celebrities without makeup" game. We had pictures of female celebrities without makeup and the girls had to guess who they were. We had "after" pictures of the celebrities all glammed up to show them after the guesses. Many of the girls were really surprised and didn't even recognize all the stars. Beyonce and Lady Gaga really stumped them. We also had the girls get together in small groups to focus on themselves. Each girl got two sheets of paper and had to finish the sentence "I'm beautiful because..." on each square. I suggested having one sentence for inner beauty, or their personality as I had to explain it to them (I'm sure your kidneys are beautiful, but I mean your personality), and one for their outer beauty. They seemed to enjoy this activity and it elicited a lot of productive conversation amongst them. It was really interesting to see them give themselves compliments, and what they thought was positive about themselves.

The executive decision was made by the volunteer coordinator to have us keep the same small groups for the duration of the program. I couldn't have gotten better news. The five girls in my group actually listen, want to participate, are fun to talk to, and don't get super obnoxious. If I got stuck with the sassies, I'm not sure how much longer I could have done it.

Our physical activity of the night was a kind of gym game. Each small group got a sheet of paper with different exercises on it that the group had to complete together: 4 laps around the track, hula hoop for 1 minute, jump rope for one minute, 25 jumping jacks, 10 push-ups, 25 sit ups and to come up with a group name and cheer. My girls came up with the Pretty Purple Pandas. The gym games were actually really fun and the group as a whole actually participated. A rough start ended up being one of the most successful sessions so far.

The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it*

Hello, dear readers. Since so much of this blog's creation was centered around the general job searching process, I decided to give an update with how that's going...or not really going. This has been a long, tedious process. I've spent the majority of the last year and a half job searching, so I pretty much know what to expect. Unfortunately, that doesn't really make it any less frustrating.

The biggest and most nerve-wracking catch-22 on the face of this planet is that no one wants to hire someone without any job experience, but no one will freaking hire you to give you that experience. How the hell am I supposed to get any experience if no one will take a chance to hire me? It's a vicious circle that hopefully someday I may break. Now, I understand a loophole is internships. Employers, professors, everyone rams the notion of getting an internship down your throat. This is the perfect way to get experience in your field without actually getting hired on, i.e. the company forking out tons of money to pay your salary. Well, I had an internship (and a pretty good one, might I add, through my university's PR department) and it's still not getting me very far. I also took a practicum course in which my classmates and I put together a nationally recognized literary magazine.

The job market right now is awful, but not inexistent. There's hardly anything being posted, especially in fields as specific as mine. I acknowledge it's a narrow window, but I did not anticipate it being this narrow. I've found maybe one job every or every other week worth me applying to. The moral of this story: not only do I have slim pickins, the jobs I do apply to won't hire a recent graduate without experience to back her up. Fantastic.

Anyway, the job I really wanted has yet to return any of my four or five phone calls. Sadly, I've given up on them, even though it crushes me a little. Another job, also close to home, gave me the dreaded "due to your lack of experience, we won't be moving forward with an interview." A third specificly asked for applicants not to call following up, due to the large volume of applications. If I can't even follow those directions, why would they even want to hire me? So I listened, but didn't hear back. The first job I applied to since starting at the call center didn't even have their name listed on the ad, so follow-up is impossible.

Over the weekend I applied for a job that I'm actually really excited about. It's the first one that would be in my women's studies field. It would be teaching youth about sexual and reproductive health. Keep your fingers crossed :)

*Quote from Mother Theresa

GNO week 3

I can't believe I've already had three Mondays with my new group of girls at the Y! I really enjoy this program and it's the one thing I really look forward to every week. The two hours a week I spend with these girls is more rewarding than the 40 hours a week I spend at work (I finally quit my part time job at Target. Hooray for being down to one job again!) or anything else in my life, really. Unfortunately, though, there are a few girls this session that are really trying my patience. More on that in a little bit.

This week we focused on positive influences, inspirational material and why it's awesome to be a girl. The first half of the night the girls created collages. In groups of four, they each cut out about four images or words out of magazine and then pasted them together on construction paper. After the groups finished their projects, one girl from each group explained the importance of their work. Two things really stuck out to me. "I picked out a car, because I'm going places" and "We put a cancer ribbon on {our collage} because a lot of women get breast cancer. And sometimes they lose their hair and don't feel beautiful anymore. But they're always beautiful." Sometimes, I'm absolutely blown away by what comes out of the mouths of children.

Our physical activity this week was Zumba. Many of the girls, myself included, absolutely fell in love with this exercise. I had never done this before, but have been excited to try it for some time. We danced to about 6 or 7 songs, my favorite of them being Stereo Hearts by the Gym Class Heroes. This workout kicked my butt, and the best part? Not once did it feel like a workout! One of the girls came up to me as they were leaving and told me she loved Zumba and wanted to do it every day. It was great to see the girls enjoy themselves so much.

...Unfortunately, this is where the program is getting trying. There have been about six girls out of the group who really test my patience every week. They don't listen to any of the volunteers or the advisor and blatantly do the exact opposite of what they're asked. They don't participate in any of the group activities, and you'd think we were asking them to go through a root canal the way they refuse to join in the physical activities. They don't even try it, but miraculously, know they don't like it. Isn't that convenient? I tried really hard to get the girls to join in, but I would have better luck nailing jello to a tree.
Me: Girls, you'd be able to see the instructor better if you got in line.
Girl 1: I don't want to see her!
Me: Well, you guys should participate, it's a lot of fun!
After the next song, Me: Girls you really need to participate with everyone else.
Girl 2: Can I go get a drink?
Me: Didn't you just do that?
Girl 2: No, I went to the bathroom before.
Me: Fine, but if you're not back in five minutes I'm coming after you.
After the next song: Girls, if you're not going to participate, you need to be quiet so everyone else can.
Girls: Ok. Continue to talk in a circle.
Repeat previous two lines two more times.
This went on until after the physical activity, where they refused to sit by the advisor to listen for the next week's activities, continued to color after they were told they needed to line up to leave, and continued to look me in the eye, say ok, and then go back to what was clearly more important.

Now, I understand middle schoolers get riled up and I understand having to deal with attitude problems. I'm more than prepared to handle that. What I am struggling with is being a volunteer with little authority or apparently imporantance in their lives. They are not made to be there (well, they probably are by their parents). They don't listen to one person in the room, they talk over everyone and don't participate in one activity. This is incredibly frustrating and takes nearly all of my energy for the night. The small chatter turns into screaming as they try to talk over instructions and other girls, and then other girls become distracted, and before I know it, I have an entire room of screaming, uncooperative sixth graders.

This is exactly how I know I will never become a teacher.

How to Talk on the Phone

If there's one thing that working in a call center has taught me, it's that our society has a whole has zero idea what it means to have proper phone ettiquette. Every day, I am appalled at what people think is acceptable behavior over the phone. So, I decided to share with you dear readers what are/are not appropriate ways to handle yourself when you make a call to any kind of business or company, which, by the way, are common communication techniques that should be expected in childhood.

LISTEN:

• Wait for the other person to finish talking before you speak. Interruptions are generally considered rude, counter-productive, and frankly, annoying.
• Pay attention to what the representative is saying. This way you can answer their questions accurately and without them having to feel like they're a cd with a scratch through it. Repeating the same thing multiple times gets old fast.
• Take the answers you're given. Repeating yourself is just as annoying to the representative as them having to repeat themselves. Reiterating your problem seventeen times is not going to get you a better or different answer. Chances are, they understood you the first time. If they didn't, they'll ask you to clarify. Also, don't argue with or question their answers. Doing so will make them change their mind and give you an answer worse than what you're already upset about.

STAY CALM AND RESPECTFUL

• No matter how serious you feel your concern is, and no matter how upset you are, don't shout at, curse at, or name call the person who is taking your call. You will get a far better response if you're not screaming so loud the representative has to worry about hearing damage.
• Manners and politeness go a long way. Chances are, whoever is taking your call wants to help you. If you're nice to them, they'll be nice to you. If you are understanding or even respectful, they will help you to rectify your situation. If you're looking to be reimbursed, they'll be more generous. If you're rude, snappy, or shouting, don't be surprised if you get jipped.
• Don't blame the person answering the phone. It's very likely they had nothing to do with whatever the problem is and are likely just taking the phone calls and passing the information on to the person or department who is responsible.

SILENCE IS GOLDEN:

• When making a call, go in a quiet room - away from the blaring tv or radio, screaming kids, heavy traffic, or any other disruptive noises. It makes it harder for you to hear the representative and harder for them to hear you. This makes the call frustrating, longer than it needs to be, is considered rude and annoying and your representative may need to get his/her hearing checked after your call.
• If you must stay in a noisy room, carry on one conversation at a time, most preferably putting your priorities with the phone call YOU made. If something else is going on in the background, don't yell at someone in the room, espeically without pulling the phone away from your mouth. This is the equivalent of screaming in a representative's face.

ENUNCIATE:

• When making any kind of phone call, make sure you speak clearly so whoever takes your call can understand you, and thus, will be able to properly help you. Don't mumble, and don't talk with food in your mouth. The importance of enunciation is particularly critical when giving any kind of personal information such as your name and address. If you're getting something replaced or sent in the mail, you need to make sure you are heard well enough for your mail to get to the right place.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

• Wait for questions to be asked before you answer them. This may sound preposterous, but in all reality of answering a phone for a living, it's absolutely a legitimate issue. Trust me, the representative will appreciate your willingness to help them, but the most helpful thing you can do is wait until they tell you what they need. Don't blurt out information you think they may need before they ask for it. Chances are it may not be what they're looking for, or they're not ready for it yet. This will make the call smoother and shorter for both of you.
• Speaking of not blurting out information, don't spill your guts to the representative. He or she does not want to know your entire life story, especially for ten minutes straight. S/he has a job to do, which is try to help you, but hearing about every one of your grandchildren makes it difficult to accomplish said job. Not to mention, that representative is a stranger. Actually, they're less than a stranger. They're just a voice over the phone. Which means there is no need for you to share personal information, and that stranger has zero desire to hear about it.

Girls Night Out, weeks 1 and 2

Last week, Girls Night Out started. It's one thing I really look forward to every week, and makes Mondays a little less "Monday." Start watching for Monday posts about GNO, in addition to other weekly(ish) posts. This is one  thing that's consistent every week, so I can almost guarantee a post a week will be dedicated to my Monday evenings with my girls.

Week one: The very first session is mostly getting to know each other. The volunteers meet each other, we briefly go over what to expect in the program with the adviser, we get to know the girls, and of course, the girls chat it up with each other. We made a "quilt" for the class for one of our ice-breakers. Each of the girls, including   us volunteers (my favorite part of the program is participating in the activities with the girls), decorated a square of paper. We had to write our name, and could decorate it to show our personality. When we were all done, the squares got put together into a quilt.

Our physical activity of the night was line dancing. The girls learned the Electric Slide, the Cupid Shuffle and one or two other moves.

Week two: This week's theme was goals, hopes and dreams. For the very first part of the night, we had a guest speaker. Miss Teen Wisconsin came in to talk to the girls about winning the pageant, and what it took her to get there. After explaining what the pageant was like, and how hard she had to work to raise the money herself and work towards her goal, she opened the floor to the girls to ask questions.

Then we broke into two groups for a small group activity. I was only a leader for one activity, so maybe next week I'll have more insight into the other small groups' work. The activity I was in charge of was to write a letter to themselves. The girls had to answer what a goal for themselves was for a week from now, two weeks from now, six months and a year. Some even went an extra step to add in a life-time or more long term goal. If there's one thing I've learned from last spring's session and tonight, it's that kids in this age have a very hard time answering questions about themselves on their own. They constantly ask what the right answer is or what they should put. I make sure the girls answer all the questions on their own, and make it clear that there is no right answer. Whatever they feel is the right answer. I do, however, help them if they're really stuck by asking them open-ended questions to start prodding them in one direction or another.

The girls did some more line dancing tonight, which I don't think they were too fond of. They didn't seem too thrilled to line dance in the first place, let alone doing it two weeks in a row. We did the Electric Slide and the Cupid Shuffle again and also learned Amy's Dance, which was to the Saturday Night Fever song. Just like last week, the volunteers enjoyed the Cupid Shuffle more than the sixth graders.