Stress Relief

In a recent conversation with one of my co-workers, I made the statement "I'm what some people like to call "high strung." I hadn't meant it to be as funny as it apparently was, but she laughed super hard. I'm sure the sentiment would be most appreciated by people who know me best because it is so truthful.

I'm a pretty self-aware person who has accepted and can admit her faults. And one of them is how high strung I am. I am a worry wart. I turn molehills into mountains. I worry about things I can control, but mostly things I cannot. I dwell on things until I am so stressed out I can't even handle myself. Granted, I have had a lot of really high stressors in my life. I've been dealt really shitty cards more often than I would have ever wished upon anyone. But the bigger problem is not what I've overcome, but more so the way I handle what life throws my way. I get myself so worked up and stress and stress until it takes over my life.

Guys, stress is a pretty nasty habit. It screws with so much, your body being at the forefront. It can make you really sick. When I experience super strong emotions, especially anxiety, I throw up. It sucks. But also, stress can actually affect your immune system too. I can't count how many times I have seen people get terrible colds when their stress is at an ultimate high.

It can make you break out. As if being 25 with an acne problem isn't bad enough, throw a stressful few days or week in the mix, and you could mistake me for a local middle or high school student.

It can affect your sleep schedule. I'm prone to poor sleep and nightmares as it is, but when I'm really stressed, it gets worse. I spend the night tossing and turning and the higher my stress level is, the more vivid the nightmares. I wake up so exhausted that I feel like I didn't even sleep. Not to mention, I have to think if the person in my dream really did die. Nightmares get old and fast.

It can really change your personality, and usually for the worse. It has spun me into depressions. I've snapped at people because of the smallest things. Usually it gets taken out on Man Friend, who does nothing but try to help me. Sometimes, in the moment, I say things I don't mean or don't even think it's a problem to say. And then I feel awful. There's no need to snap at someone, especially if they're doing everything they can to be supportive. But I find that the people who are there for you the most are going to be the ones to take the brunt of the pain. A friend, who at the time had been dealing with something I had been as well, told me that her fiance said he didn't even recognize her anymore. That was such a sad thing to hear and made me wonder if my family and friends had been thinking the same about me.

After reading all of this, you must wonder how I manage to even get through life. It took a long time of stress just eating away at me to figure it out. Although it is still an ever-evolving work in progress, I am starting to get a lot better at managing stress and anxiety. I've found some really good relief:

• Go for a long walk. Grabbing your favorite music to jam to doesn't hurt either. Without any distractions around, it's a great way to collect yourself and get all your thoughts together. My walks usually start out worrisome and over-analyzing everything. However, after a while, the circulation starts going and I start calming myself down. By the time I'm ready to go home, I usually have worked my thoughts into a 180 and I've come up with solutions for whatever I need to.

• Cook or bake. Just under two years ago, I started teaching myself how to cook. I quickly found that I really enjoyed it. One of the reasons was how much stress relief it provides. Cooking and baking takes a lot of concentration and focus. If you're not paying attention, especially to a new recipe that you need instructions for, you're going to fuck it up some way or another. If you're not careful with knives, blades, heat or open flame, you're going to hurt yourself. Throwing all your energy into focusing on one things gets your mind off your troubles quickly. Plus, if you're a stress eater, you can make a really healthy meal that you feel good about eating. Added bonus: you can always share the meal with someone and have a nice conversation with over food. 

  

  Lavender is my favorite scent to add to a hot bath. How
  can you be upset after inhaling such a soothing and
  relaxing fragrance?

• Take a long, hot bath. It will calm your muscles and you will start to relax. Adding aromatherapy or soothing bath salts to the water will help too. Also, bring a good book with to get your mind off your anxiety. Make sure it's something you're really interested in or your mind will wander. Even if you're not a big reader, bring in a niche magazine dedicated to something you enjoy like cooking, music, cars or electronics. And if a glass of wine happens to follow you into the bathroom and find itself next to the tub, you won't see me judging. 

• Work out. Not only is this yet another way to take your mind away from dwelling by focusing on one thing, it releases endorphins. Endorphins are a natural mood booster that your body is kind enough to provide. And in the words of Elle Woods, "Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make people happy. Happy people don't kill their husbands. They just don't."

• Get a massage. I know that often times massages are something of luxury. And when money is a factor in your stress level, it's hard to justify some pampering. Sometimes a day at a spa can really do wonders, but it doesn't need to be extravagant. You can go to a massage school for a really cheap price and the students who work on you are already very experienced. There are also options like Groupon and sales to watch for to get a really cheap rate. Massages are not only relaxing, but can really melt a lot of worry away. They are also great for improving circulation, helping with chronic muscle aches and pain, improving sleep quality, and boosting moods. Hmm, sounds like a lot of what stress triggers.

• Bitch. Seriously, you need to bitch. Call up a friend or hang out together and just rant away. A huge factor in stress for a lot of people, myself included, is that it's hard to talk about your emotions. When you don't talk about what's bothering you, it just festers inside you. It gets bottled up until the tiniest thing pushes you over the edge and you blow up. There was one time in high school, at the prime of me not talking about anything, that I had really been dealing with a lot. I slept over at a friend's house and my mom was awesome enough to bring me an overnight bag. She forgot to pack my socks and birth control. During any ordinary circumstance, it wouldn't have been a big deal. I could have borrowed socks from my friend and taken my pill right away the next morning. But because I had been bottling up so much, I lost it and started bawling. It became known as the infamous Socks and Birth Control moment. Don't let a Socks and Birth Control moment happen to you.

• Go on humor websites. Scroll through the humor section on Pinterest or go on Buzzfeed. Watch stupid YouTube videos. The longer you laugh, the better you'll feel. Soon enough, you'll forget what was upsetting you. It may mean wasting a few hours of your life watching videos of children doing stupid things or reading countless some e-cards, but it's worth it.

• Volunteer. Giving back to your community and helping others, especially those in need, is such an incredible and powerful feeling. Knowing that you made someone else's day a little better or easier is a great way to lift your spirits. It might help you re-evaluate your concerns and perhaps they won't seem so bad anymore. If for nothing else, smiles are contagious. And being around everyone smiling for a short time will at least get you to smile for a few hours.

The Best Two Weeks Ever

You guys. I have been dying to tell you about the great happenings in the last few weeks. And now that everything I had been waiting for has happened, I can share. I've had some of the best weekends I've had in quite some time and I couldn't have been happier. Welp, there was one breakdown. But more on that later.

Friday, October 18th, 2013:

Ok, so I know I didn't need to include the year in there. I assume you guys are smart enough to figure it out. But it makes me feel so "MTV's Diary" with it in. So it stays.

Little and I went to Halloween at Heritage Hill and loved it! I had really been looking forward to it, and I found out that she had been too. We both decided to dress up, though my costume didn't have as much to it as I could have done. Little loves everything horses and dressed up as a horse trainer. I wish I could share her picture on here because her costume was so damn awesome. She had this giant stuffed horse that she attached a harness around and carried around the whole time. She was very disappointed to have not won the costume contest, and frankly, I was a little surprised she didn't get mentioned. Everyone we passed commented on what a cute and/or creative idea it was. But then again, almost all the winners were super little nuggets, so gotta give them the spotlight, I suppose. One girl, maybe Little's age or a tad younger, won one of the categories. They announced her as Little Bo Peep, to which she indignantly responded with, "I'm not Little Bo Peep! I'm Scarlett O'Hara!" You go, kid. You frickin go.

Big-Little temporary tattoos

The Park had a lot of great activities we could participate in besides the costume contest. We went through a Haunted hallway to start right away. Even though I know that it's just one hallway at a place aimed for children, that nothing is real, and no one can hurt us, I am such a baby that I was a teensy bit apprehensive. Especially when an actor came up right behind us and followed us through. I knew I couldn't show Little this, though, so I tried to be silly and said "Oooh spooky! Someone's following us!" I think it helped, though she said she almost peed herself inside. Little trick or treated and played a few games. We listened to story telling, which we quickly found out was geared towards very small children. I thought it would be someone telling spooky stories, but it was just someone reading from a Halloween novel. For children who still need to be carried, I'm sure it was great. Little and I were a little bored. We also watched a shadow play and got a tram tour of a Sleepy Hollow re-enactment. That was actually super cool. Hearing the legend told and watching the actors dressed in period clothing was really fun. A friend recently started working at Heritage Hill and was one of the Sleepy Hollow actors.  I was so excited to see her and whisper-shouted and waved to her from the tram. At least I waited until a break in the skit. I was polite enough for that.

It was a rainy night, and luckily it was mostly just misty. However, after about an hour and a half, it started picking up and we were getting really soggy. We trekked inside for some Halloween arts and crafts and got temporary tattoos together. Little seemed to really enjoy herself and told me before we were even back to my car that she wanted to come back next year too. Can't argue with that.

The only thing I wished could have been different was how many things were geared towards really little kids. Little played a few games that worked for older kids and a few that did not. I could tell she realized she was a little too old for some of them after she started playing. Others we just by-passed. So, Friend-Who-Will-Be-In-Charge-Next-Year, if you're reading this, please consider my small suggestion.


Saturday, October 19th, 2013:

Volunteering for Halloween at the Y:

This was my third year volunteering and it's one of my favorite things to participate in with the Y. One of the best parts about the event is that there are so many different kids, and kids of all ages. They are all so excited to be there, whether they are barely walking or entering into their pre-teen years. I love interacting with all of them and watching how excited they are to play games.

I've done all my volunteering through the West Side Y, but with all the plans I had Halloween weekend, I couldn't make it. I thought I would have to miss it, but luckily, the Broadview location in DePere had their event the weekend before. I was nervous to not know anyone there and not be familiar with my surroundings, but I dragged my sister along so she could get high school community service hours and decided to make the most of it. The last two years I was placed in the carnival games section: the most fun and exciting part, in my opinion. I pretty much got to choose whichever game I wanted to be at. Mostly because I've always gotten there early, and because most of the staff knows or recognizes me with all the other volunteering I do. As a new face with this location, I didn't get my first pick. Sister and I were placed at the Rainbow Rompers. It's basically an obstacle course made of mats and slides for toddlers. We were both kind of bummed at first to not be at a cooler station, but at least we were paired together. It ended up being pretty fun and we all know that the tiniest costumes are always the cutest. Toddlers certainly are adorable. Mom, if you're reading this, calm down. I'm sure your "Monica needs to have a baby" sensors are flashing and buzzing but it's not happening.

Halloween selfie before going to the Y

Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013:

I had the nicest surprise from one of my best friends who moved away. Remember my See You Later Letter? Yeah, that one. Anyway, she was in town for a few days, but I thought we would only be able to see each other on Saturday. However, some of her plans got done early and we got to hang out together for a while. We just sat around, eating junk food and chatting. Even before her move, it had been a really long time that just the two of us could sit together and talk. It was so relaxing and relieving to have some much-needed girl talk. When Man Friend came home from work, we all caught up on the season premiere of the Walking Dead. It was almost like old times, minus one person. I didn't realize how much I needed that until it happened.


Friday, October 25th, 2013:

This was the second-best day of them all! I was in such a great mood all day, even while at work, just in anticipation of what the evening would bring. I got the afternoon for e-mail time, which meant throwing my earbuds in, jamming to some music, hammering out consume e-mails and most importantly, not being on phones. One of my managers saw a post I had on the Book of Faces and tried playing a trick on me that I'd have to go on the phones instead of e-mail time, but I dodged that one.

Eight hours flew by and I headed home in record time. Or at least it felt like it. I headed to my Grandma's for a little family get together. My mom was in town for my not-so-baby sister's 16th birthday party and wanted to see the extended family since she won't be home until Christmas. Sometimes, we all get at each other's throats and often times at least someone is upset by the end of the night. But it was really a lot of fun. We all got to catch up and truly enjoy each other's company. We gorged on pizza, snacks and beer (of course). It was such a refreshing time and nice to get together without the hectic busy-ness that holidays can bring. I got to show Mom my pictures with my Little and tell her a lot about our adventures together. We text, call and Facebook each other often enough, but having a full conversation in person is just so much different.

After Grandma's wrapped up, the second half of the night began. Man Friend and I had my whole "high school" crowd over. Out of the five of them, four have moved out of town or state in the last year. It's been so incredibly hard for me having them all so far away after basically growing up together. But being together in an apartment, shouting, drinking and laughing on a Friday night was like not a single thing had changed. When we were all together again, it was as if not one tiny day had passed. It's amazing to have such a close group of friends that we can all fall right back into place after months of being hours and hours apart. I'm almost entirely certain that our neighbors hated us that night, if they already don't. But oh well.


Saturday, October 26th, 2013:

Ok, here it is. The best day of the weekend. It started off mildly stressful trying to find Man Friend a Halloween costume. I ordered ours online this year, which put us in very dangerous territory. I hoped harder than I had ever hoped that they would arrive on time and would fit. I tried mine on right away, and by some miracle, it fit perfectly. Relief! Man Friend, however, did not try his on until two days before we were scheduled for going out. This drove me up a frickin wall. Between my very strong love for Halloween and control-freak tendencies, I need everything to be done and figured out a million years in advance. When they're not, I panic a little. Maybe a lot, but who's counting? Anyway, we ended up finding a different costume and luckily for my sanity and Man Friend's safety, it only took two stores. And he actually liked it more than the first one anyway. I considered it a success.

My mom had rented one of the Packers party houses for the weekend for Sister's birthday party and used it instead of a hotel. The house was just gorgeous and perfectly set up for parties/tailgating. Go figure. I went there in the afternoon to help Sister set up for the party and for her to curl my hair for my costume. Since I got there later than I had anticipated, "set up" meant that I placed plastic pumpkins all over the house as part of the decorations. And then I sat down for an hour for my sister to make me beautiful. Pumpkin-placing was a lot of work. I needed a break, ok? Well, my hair turned out awesomely. I was so in love with the job she did. I also had a hole around me in the ozone layer from all the hairspray I had on my head. Sorry, tree huggers.

The whole friend crowd got together for dinner at St. Brennan's that evening. If you haven't been there yet and you're in the area, I highly recommend it. I've only been twice, but have not been disappointed. Great service, drinks and food. It's a nice change from the kind of restaurant and atmosphere that Man Friend and I usually do for our date nights. I don't think I ever laugh as hard as I do when I'm with them. I'm sure the surrounding tables were rather annoyed with us, but not one of us cared a single bit. After dinner we tried to carry on the tradition of a group picture in the restaurant. We were failing miserably with the set-timer on my camera when a stranger walked by and offered to take some for us. He was very patient with our "just one more!"s and "Ok, now a funny one!"s. Then, much to my surprise, Dad and some of his family walked in the door. They had just gone to see a show and were grabbing post-show drinks.

This. This is why other patrons hate us.

Here's our "just one more."

And the one that came after Just One More

After a mildly stressful temporary parting of ways, we headed back downtown to XS for their Halloween party. Ok, you might be thinking Really? The gay bar? but it's seriously the best place to go. They have cheap drinks, lots of dancing and is the best place in town for people watching. Until men look prettier than you and you get oddly jealous. I don't think we've ever gone there and not had a good time. I had put so much effort in to my costume that I wish we had spent a little longer there. Ok, maybe not. Despite feeling great and having a wonderful time, my feet were fucking killing me. I haven't worn heels in a while and apparently, my feet did not care for this. Even with Dr. Scholls in. By the time we left, I walked away in my tights despite the very cold ground. Sorry, Jenna Marbles. I did not make a mini marriage to my shoes that night.

Grumpy cowboy is grumpy.

I'm not sure if this is much better

Remember how I said earlier that a meltdown happened? Well, guys. This is it. As we were saying goodbye, I was ambushed by my own emotions and lost it. I mean full-blown hot mess lost it. And no, I was not emotional drunk. Just really emotional. My cousin told me I need to stop going to XS because I'm going to start having really bad associations with the place. I had no idea that saying goodbye was going to be so hard. I had already seen them (minus one) one time each this summer and had to say bye then. I would have thought those byes would have been the hardest with them being the first ones since all the moves. Nope. Not even close. Standing in that parking lot, with my longest-run of friendships, it was like they were all moving all over again. Only this time instead of being staggered in February, April and May, it was all of them together. Even just a short weekend together felt like we were back together like it used to be. It's really embarrassing how much I've cried in that parking lot. I fucking bawlled the entire time we said our goodbyes and almost the entire way home.


Sunday, October 27th, 2013:

After a crazy two nights, Sunday was pretty relaxing. Well, what I had of Sunday. I slept half my day away and didn't get up until noon. Man Friend, Former Roomie and another one of my friends who moved went to Hu Hot and stuffed ourselves to the point of being uncomfortable. The restaurant has been such a go-to for us though out the years and is one of the few things everyone who has moved away can agree on that they miss about Green Bay.

I got to have some nice family time with both my mom and dad. Not together. Don't be silly. Man Friend and I stopped over by my dad's to pick up my car from the night before. Dad was making his delicious chili that I wanted to eat every last ounce of. He told me some horror stories about the duplexes he is a landlord to. His tenants were awful people who caused thousands and thousands of dollars of damage. I had known it was really bad, but didn't know the full extent of it until then. People are fucking disgusting and have zero respect for anything.

Since my mom still had the Packers party house, I went there for the game. Mom and I got to chat some more, and we hung out with some of her friends and her man friend's family. It was such a great place to watch a game. The only bad thing was how late of a game it was. I have zero desire for late games. Bring on the Nooners! Really, day drinking for games is so much better.

Yes. I am the shortest.

Thursday, October 31st, 2013:

Even though I had already celebrated Halloween, the greatest holiday of the year, three times already, nothing beats the actual day of. We had trick or treating at the office and for the first time since childhood, I got a stomachache from too many sweets. I didn't even make it to the whole department. When people bring in doughnuts, muffins, cookies and mini cheesecakes in addition to candy, I'm going to eat it all. Sorry, I'm not sorry.

I got to go with a friend and her daughter on a very soggy trick or treating adventure. Although the friend and I have been very close since the 4th grade, we had a little bit of a rough patch for about a year. I'm just grateful that things are slowly but surely turning around. Nearly losing a life-time friendship was tough, but I'm glad things are turning up. Her daughter is one of the cutest damn kids I've ever met in my life and I've been attached to her since the day she was born. I didn't know it was possible to love a child who isn't family so much until she came around. I've gone trick or treating with them three years now, and even though I was soggy and cold by the end of the night, I couldn't have asked for a better night.

The two best witches in town...even though her
tights and hat were ditched the second we got in the house.

I know this was super long. If you're still reading, I thank you. I am just so excited to share my happiness with all of you!