Fear

Hello, dear readers! Last week I got my hair done at a completely new salon with a new stylist. At one point during our consultation, in reference to her style and approach with clients, she said to me "Conservative is not a word that is ever used to describe me." Readers, do you know what is never used to describe me? Risk-taker. In fact, I don't think this sentiment has ever been used with my name in the same sentence. Never ever. I am not even close to being adventurous. I over-think every decision I ever make. Every. Single. Decision. Also, I'm really scared of a lot of shit. I'm actually so scared of so many things and so unwilling to take any kind of risk that there have actually been several times I've missed out on something because fear has held me back. Somehow, though, I've got the ovaries to share all sorts of my misgivings to the world and the Internet. So, in true Mon fashion, here are the things I'm either scared of, won't take a chance at or both:

• Heights. You have no idea.
• I actually would love to sky-dive and I've always wanted to. But I know myself and there's a higher chance of the Bears winning next year's Super Bowl than me getting in one of those planes. Rock climbing is out of the picture. Looking over any railing or stairway gets me about two seconds away from peeing myself.
• The dark. What? There's scary shit out there.
• Deep water. Ok, any water that comes higher than my belly button.
• When I was just a little nugget, I nearly drowned. Since then, I've been absolutely terrified of being in the water. This has resulted in so many times of not joining in pool parties and water park festivities. When people joke about or threaten to throw me into a pool, I actually get near panic attack anxiety. Anything exciting like tubing, boating jet skiing or going on a cruise? Forget it.
• Getting hurt. Physically, that is.
• I am such an unbelievable klutz. I fall all the freaking time. Last summer when we went swimming at The Falls during our Rock Fest trip, we had to cross a path of rocks to get to the swimming area. I was so terrified of falling down the rocks that I just stood there and wouldn't move. I actually contemplated not crossing and staying by myself while everyone else had fun.
• Getting in trouble
• I constantly worry about getting in trouble from any kind of authority. Are we being too loud? I don't want the neighbors to get mad. Will they call the landlord? Will the cops get called on us for being too loud outside? Or shooting off fireworks? Are we supposed to be in this part of the store? I think it's just for employees. Are we supposed to park here? What if we get a ticket? What if we get caught downloading music? I don't want to go to jail. 
• Getting in a car accident
• I've gotten into two weather-related car accidents and I am absolutely terrified of getting in another. Both times I was very lucky to have not been injured in the slightest, but I always know I could be. Not to mention, I am broke and cannot afford any major repairs. Driving in winter storms gives me an enormous amount of anxiety that I don't think I will ever get over.